I really hate snobbery.
I could end it there really, it'd be the shortest blog ever but heavens to Betsy it would get my point across!
Who was this Betsy woman by the way? If you have any ideas or answers a cheeky little comment would be much appreciated!
But anyway, snobbery. On the plane back from Spain a couple of days ago, I was having a chat with my friend Ryan about it and during the chat I wondered what the opposite to it was. The feeling of looking back up at the people who look down their noses at you. I've experienced snobbery on many occasions in my life. Instances jump out at me in the past few months and I've come to find the worst kind of snobbery comes out of the blue.
When I went to the London Book Fair for example, the amount of people, in their clean cut, boring coloured suits who would look down their noses at me was off the scale. I was just wearing a Rolling Stones T-shirt and some green chinos because following the crowd is fun.
It's strange that you can even experience snobbery for doing things like that. I like chinos! Well maybe that's a bad example, I don't like them as much as I did, I started to get the impression I was dressing like a member of One Direction and immediately found some jeans. I especially reject chinos and indeed any long trousered leg shielding device during this mini heatwave we're now having in England. See Mr Cameron! Drought! This is what it feels like.
Anyway Ryan and I discovered there was no word for those of us who looked back up the noses of judgement. I'd like to suggest blobbery because it sounds funny, but it has nothing to do with chubbiness so maybe it needs rethinking. But anyway, snobs come in all shapes and sizes and it's strange to me that while it may have been at some point, it has nothing to do with class distinctions.
Class interests me in a big way, and I'll always jump on such a question if it's one of my chosen eight in an English exam. It's why I really love George Orwell and have many differently covered copies of 1984. It is a love of Orwell which has subjected me to my subject on many an occasion. As an English student I feel as though (from my experiences of talking to snobs) that my favourite author should be someone like Gabriel Garcia Marquez or someone equally nichéy. Orwell, due to the unfortunate fact that Animal Farm and 1984 are on GCSE and lower school syllabuses, people would view my favourite author with a certain degree of 'oh you haven't really tried have you.'
I contradict this snobbism. Why shouldn't my favourite writer be one who writes deeply interesting stories and essays in such a way which is easy for the reader to pick up. I love that you can see Orwell's thought process as he writes. I love how the books are clearly great stories but also hold another intellectual level to them. I always disagree when a book is just the message and not the story. I'd also say my other favourite authors are Anthony Horowitz and John Green. Snobbery would probably dictate that they're 'below my level' or something equally ridiculous. I dare you to read a John Green book and not come out seeing the world in a slightly different, improved light. The clever thing which always amazes me about a book and I've more than likely said it before, is that the reader can get different things out of it depending on who they are. 1984 epitomizes this. Look how many other books cite 1984 as their main influence. I bought 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami purely based on the fact that I thought it might have something a bit Orwellian about it. (1Q84 - 1q84 - 1984) And also Waterstones and Amazon kept on recommending it to me.
I'm useless at ignoring consumer advice. Or shop assistant advice. It's not even advice it's just sneaky and aimed at poor susceptible people like me. I was in Subway the other day for instance and I was being good, I only got a 6", but right before I paid the shop assistant asked me 'do you want three cookies for 99p?' And I stopped, briefly considered before replying, 'yeah I do actually!' I'm useless, if a shop assistant offers me something I'll more than likely accept. Maybe it's a British thing.
But anyway snobbery. The one that really gets me is music snobbery. Musical prescriptivism gets right on my tits to coin a phrase from my cockney heritage. Obviously everyone likes different things, but it's people who tell other people, as Dara O'Briain says 'don't listen to these sounds in your ears, they are the wrong sounds, you must listen to these sounds.' And I'm 100% with Dara there, why should I listen to those sounds? I'm perfectly happy here listening to Keane and while I may not personally like Tinie Tempah for example, I wouldn't go and say someone should stop listening to Mr Tempah in favour of Keane. I am willing to give things a try, and I'd hope people would do the same because Keane are bloomin' great. I love expanding my musical horizons, and if I'm honest I'll always go backwards into musical history to get something new. I absolutely love the blues for instance. You know you get those singers whose voice or playing guitar or whatever they may be doing with music really seems to connect with you. Maybe it's just me being all romantic and silly but when I listen to Eric Clapton I go into a bit of a zen mode and I might have some sort of epiphany or idea. I don't know what it is about particular musicians which do this. I hope other people experience this. If you do then please leave a comment, nice to know I'm that little bit less weird if there's two of us! Also comment to recommend me music! I'm always looking for more stuff. Particularly modern stuff. Anything but metal, just don't get it! Actually no, even metal, turn me, I'm really easily convinced.
It's all part of my personal world view that people should be able to like/do/love/be whatever they so desire. I really don't like the feeling of being judged for the way I choose to live my life. Because I like living my life and I'm really proud of what I'm doing with it. I don't think it's very human to think that you're somehow better than someone else just because of the things you like. I do believe you can be a better person in but one way, and that's treating other people nicely. I'm really honestly not paraphrasing a bible quote there. That comes from me, and that's the conclusion I've arrived at over recent times. Really, it's the only important thing and I think snobbery is a big old contradiction of claiming to try and do that.
So snobs, stop it.
See I've just had an idea for a book. Thank you Keane.
Monday 28 May 2012
Tuesday 15 May 2012
This Blog Might Break Your Head, I Apologise or 'David Tries Being Intellectual'
As the title clearly states, this blog may well break your head, so for this I must apologise sincerely. I include this as a disclaimer at the beginning to save me from any libellous cases involving brains falling out of your noses to escape the realm of mindfuckery I'm about to embark into.
Oh no I swore, should I swear? I don't see a particular problem with swearing personally as long as children know, that like drinking, driving, sex and everything else a bit fun in the world, it is age appropriate. However I would like younger people to read this. So I'll change it to mindfickery. You know what I mean.
A third blog in three days! I'm on a roll, and as before it's not because I've physically left my house and tried anything new. I suppose I've just tried a new way of thinking about something as I sit here musing in the morning about life the universe and everything, as is my usual routine. I've recently been doing some reading for my dissertation, which concerns the literary canon. (The collection of books which educated professor like folk deem it necessary to be taught in schools, Shakespeare, Austen, Aristotle etc) My thinking being, is this necessary and what attributes in books qualify them to be added to it. By the way, that's all approved and kosher, no stealsies.
What a power trip! Imagine being the guy that chose that! I won't go into my own dissertation topic, otherwise I'd probably be in danger of plagiarising myself. Imagine failing university because you plagiarised yourself, the ultimate shooting self in foot/peeing into wind/slapping self in face. Indeed the ultimate form of any unpleasant, embarrassing activity.
I don't think I'd be a good canon chooser, or Lord of Literature or whatever they call themselves. The power would go to my head. I'd start adding 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' to be studied at university level as post-colonialist literature. The bear is the foreign other which must be hunted and we're not scared! At all times is must be noted that the native people must catch a big one, meaning that they must exorcise the largest foreign influence from their nation before it takes over in a country-wide bear epidemic. It'd be like Planet of the Bears and they'd store honey in the Statue of Liberty. Honey being our identity.
I've gone off on one. But my surreal rant does paint a picture of what I actually want to talk about. It is frightening that little old me, sitting in my living room, watching Friends in my dressing gown, superman trousers and bed hair, could think up a completely fabricated reading of a children's book that thousands of children read ever day. What if I did become a Lord of Literature, Master of the Canon and I decided that 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' was post colonialist literature, and was a warning about foreign influences. Maybe it was a 1984-esque foreshadowing of middle eastern terrorism encroaching on our shores. Now that's a complete load of rubbish, but if I had enough people behind me and enough teachers and lecturers teaching the same thing, this idea, this anti-foreign people idea could be planted in the minds of the next generation of children. All because of this charming story of bravery by Michael Rosen.
This is a scary idea. And I'm afraid I must refer again to the vlogbrothers. While watching John Green's vlog on people's perception of Islam this morning something clicked in my head. He said that we are taught about Christianity and Judaism, but our teaching on Islam is limited at best. He didn't say this, but surely this means that Islam is an easy target for people to fear and victimise. Because we don't understand it, as is an unfortunate trait of our own humanity. John also said that we are taught in schools that 'our history' is the story of christianity in europe, whereas our actual history is a history of people in the world. The idea of religion and different sects of the big old confusing cookie jar of life that is religion.
Now I've always been a straight chocolate chip man, and the trying of any other cookie was a fearful image for me. The very thought of a white chocolate chip and macadamia?? Madness. But I tried it, and god it's good. I hope you see my metaphor. I'm not saying try other religions, or indeed try no religion at all, but I'm saying, full understanding is the key to everything. How many arguments in the world, big or small, from playground to nuclear war, are based around one or both sides not having full understanding of the other. I'd be willing to bet most of them.
Picture the scene, nameless London suburb, street corner, Cherise and Tiffani are having an argument in their tracksuits because Cherise is squeezing Tiffani's boyfriend Jorel (who is Irish and his name is actually Seamus) for money for child support for their baby, Kai. Tiffani has no idea that Jorel fathered Cherise's baby so she hits Cherise because she thinks that she just wants a slice of her boyfriend's Irish ass. If everyone in the situation understood, and didn't lie to one another, things could probably be sorted out.
Ok that humorous, hideously stereotyped picture is a bit silly but I think it illustrates my point. We're not lied to in schools exactly by saying that our history comes just from Christianity, but a certain level of the truth is withheld. I know why, someone upstairs has deemed it too complicated to teach the youth of the world that our existence is multi-faceted, complicated and ultimately mindfickery.
There are a certain amount of factors against my argument. John Green for instance was more than likely talking about American schools. I do not know the level to which we are taught about Islam in this country, because I'm old and can't remember. However if this is true of american schools, then surely recent history has taught us that understanding of the Islamic faith is nothing short of vital to the education of young American minds.
The fact that the educational canon is limited is a flawed and dangerous idea. The fact that anything can be taught in a certain way with the right amount of twist and backing is a terrifying idea. In my view, the literary canon is in some way necessary. Personally I read the likes of Shakespeare and then went on to look at others around him which aren't necessarily taught at schools. Because I like reading and it interests me. In schools though, where things like religion are concerned I think full understanding is completely and utterly vital. I could argue about the whole teaching evolution vs teaching the story of Adam and Eve thing but I could go on forever and people will stop reading. You get my point though I hope.
In short, understanding things before we rush off and argue about them is so important to the human race.
I hope all of that made some form of sense, and if you'd like to comment on anything I've said, please do, I'd love to hear what you think.
John Green's vlog: http://youtu.be/TpcbfxtdoI8
Oh no I swore, should I swear? I don't see a particular problem with swearing personally as long as children know, that like drinking, driving, sex and everything else a bit fun in the world, it is age appropriate. However I would like younger people to read this. So I'll change it to mindfickery. You know what I mean.
A third blog in three days! I'm on a roll, and as before it's not because I've physically left my house and tried anything new. I suppose I've just tried a new way of thinking about something as I sit here musing in the morning about life the universe and everything, as is my usual routine. I've recently been doing some reading for my dissertation, which concerns the literary canon. (The collection of books which educated professor like folk deem it necessary to be taught in schools, Shakespeare, Austen, Aristotle etc) My thinking being, is this necessary and what attributes in books qualify them to be added to it. By the way, that's all approved and kosher, no stealsies.
What a power trip! Imagine being the guy that chose that! I won't go into my own dissertation topic, otherwise I'd probably be in danger of plagiarising myself. Imagine failing university because you plagiarised yourself, the ultimate shooting self in foot/peeing into wind/slapping self in face. Indeed the ultimate form of any unpleasant, embarrassing activity.
I don't think I'd be a good canon chooser, or Lord of Literature or whatever they call themselves. The power would go to my head. I'd start adding 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' to be studied at university level as post-colonialist literature. The bear is the foreign other which must be hunted and we're not scared! At all times is must be noted that the native people must catch a big one, meaning that they must exorcise the largest foreign influence from their nation before it takes over in a country-wide bear epidemic. It'd be like Planet of the Bears and they'd store honey in the Statue of Liberty. Honey being our identity.
I've gone off on one. But my surreal rant does paint a picture of what I actually want to talk about. It is frightening that little old me, sitting in my living room, watching Friends in my dressing gown, superman trousers and bed hair, could think up a completely fabricated reading of a children's book that thousands of children read ever day. What if I did become a Lord of Literature, Master of the Canon and I decided that 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' was post colonialist literature, and was a warning about foreign influences. Maybe it was a 1984-esque foreshadowing of middle eastern terrorism encroaching on our shores. Now that's a complete load of rubbish, but if I had enough people behind me and enough teachers and lecturers teaching the same thing, this idea, this anti-foreign people idea could be planted in the minds of the next generation of children. All because of this charming story of bravery by Michael Rosen.
This is a scary idea. And I'm afraid I must refer again to the vlogbrothers. While watching John Green's vlog on people's perception of Islam this morning something clicked in my head. He said that we are taught about Christianity and Judaism, but our teaching on Islam is limited at best. He didn't say this, but surely this means that Islam is an easy target for people to fear and victimise. Because we don't understand it, as is an unfortunate trait of our own humanity. John also said that we are taught in schools that 'our history' is the story of christianity in europe, whereas our actual history is a history of people in the world. The idea of religion and different sects of the big old confusing cookie jar of life that is religion.
Now I've always been a straight chocolate chip man, and the trying of any other cookie was a fearful image for me. The very thought of a white chocolate chip and macadamia?? Madness. But I tried it, and god it's good. I hope you see my metaphor. I'm not saying try other religions, or indeed try no religion at all, but I'm saying, full understanding is the key to everything. How many arguments in the world, big or small, from playground to nuclear war, are based around one or both sides not having full understanding of the other. I'd be willing to bet most of them.
Picture the scene, nameless London suburb, street corner, Cherise and Tiffani are having an argument in their tracksuits because Cherise is squeezing Tiffani's boyfriend Jorel (who is Irish and his name is actually Seamus) for money for child support for their baby, Kai. Tiffani has no idea that Jorel fathered Cherise's baby so she hits Cherise because she thinks that she just wants a slice of her boyfriend's Irish ass. If everyone in the situation understood, and didn't lie to one another, things could probably be sorted out.
Ok that humorous, hideously stereotyped picture is a bit silly but I think it illustrates my point. We're not lied to in schools exactly by saying that our history comes just from Christianity, but a certain level of the truth is withheld. I know why, someone upstairs has deemed it too complicated to teach the youth of the world that our existence is multi-faceted, complicated and ultimately mindfickery.
There are a certain amount of factors against my argument. John Green for instance was more than likely talking about American schools. I do not know the level to which we are taught about Islam in this country, because I'm old and can't remember. However if this is true of american schools, then surely recent history has taught us that understanding of the Islamic faith is nothing short of vital to the education of young American minds.
The fact that the educational canon is limited is a flawed and dangerous idea. The fact that anything can be taught in a certain way with the right amount of twist and backing is a terrifying idea. In my view, the literary canon is in some way necessary. Personally I read the likes of Shakespeare and then went on to look at others around him which aren't necessarily taught at schools. Because I like reading and it interests me. In schools though, where things like religion are concerned I think full understanding is completely and utterly vital. I could argue about the whole teaching evolution vs teaching the story of Adam and Eve thing but I could go on forever and people will stop reading. You get my point though I hope.
In short, understanding things before we rush off and argue about them is so important to the human race.
I hope all of that made some form of sense, and if you'd like to comment on anything I've said, please do, I'd love to hear what you think.
John Green's vlog: http://youtu.be/TpcbfxtdoI8
Monday 14 May 2012
I'd Like to Call Him Tony Stark or Mr Weasley or 'David Tries Being Opinionated'
Alright I didn't actually technically try anything new for this blog. Being a bit naughty I know, but hey, it's raining (again *) so I thought I'd communicate a thought I had this morning.
I often think about the future. Most of the time nowadays this involves all of the pointless, expensive things I would like to have but unfortunately do not possess the money to attain. The things I'd like to have aren't always so superficial. Recently as a previous blog mentioned (David Tries Being Productive) I've had a renewed thirst for gaining knowledge. It might be to do with watching the vlogs of Hank and John Green on Youtube. If you've not read the novels of John Green then I'm sorry you must, get your bottom to Waterstones, skip whatever work/school/day you had planned and have a read. He is one of the best writers on earth in my opinion and I will very much enjoy Looking for Alaska which I've saved for my upcoming holiday. The brothers live far apart and communicate with a vlog a week to each other. These vlogs are not only hilarious and celebratory of the existence of nerds and geeks and everything in between, but I find them very thought provoking.
Hank's last one for instance was about the recent controversy about states in America making gay marriage illegal. I'll leave a link to Hank's vlog at the end because he can communicate his thought's a lot better than me. I'll give it a go though.
Who decides that someone can't be who they are? That's just Nazi if you ask me. There are so many ridiculous arguments against being gay and I cannot understand the thought processes behind them. Arguments like 'it's unnatural' and 'it'll devalue the idea of straight marriage.' How and how? Natural is what people do with their lives, everything is natural because we are natural, and people are gay so gay is natural. There, take that nay-sayers, logic defies hate. Unnatural behaviour if you ask me is killing someone, that's unnatural, mugging someone of their livelihood, that's unnatural. Hating against someone for what they believe and love, that's unnatural. And devaluing straight marriage? Because celebrities getting married only to divorce five minutes later doesn't do that.
And the biggest thing which people say is 'God hates gay people.' I'll save my personal religious views for another day. Lets just say I'm not affiliated with any religion in particular, I believe in something but not in a conventional sense. Agnostic if you want to label me I guess. I have looked in the Bible though, and at the passages people interpret as anti-gay, and they're so flimsy it's ridiculous. I'm not insulting a religion, please don't think I'd do that, but I don't like people interpreting things to breed hate. Tell me, what's the difference between this and people interpreting the Qu'ran to blow up a building? I DO NOT question anyone's right to believe in anything, or indeed a right to believe in nothing. I question the sense in doing this to a so-called holy text to contradict the big message a little later in the same text. 'Treat one another as you would like to be treated.' How would you like it if the government made being straight illegal?
I apologise I'm getting on my high horse. I do have views though, and I'm not having a moan, well I am. I just think hating is nonsensical and predominantly an occupation of nasty small minded people. In David's world we would be able to like what we like, believe in what we believe and love who we love. It really annoys me when we as the human race appear to take a step backwards towards achieving this equality which everyone, hater or not apparently strives to achieve.
Now liking what we like, that's what I really wanted to talk about today. I hope I won't now devalue what I've just said. Maybe it's good, normal service has been resumed. I guess I did try something new today then! Communicating views like one of those proper blog people. I feel like I've been initiated.
Anyway, as I was saying before I was distracted, and it supports my mini-rant in a way, being knowledgable and understanding things is celebrated by the vlogbrothers, and I certainly aspire to be like them. Reading books on modernism for instance for one of my modules next year is something that I complained about only about a year ago, but now can't get enough of! I want to talk about people like Jaques Derrida and Jean Beaudrillard with conviction and knowledge behind me. And it makes me very happy when someone like John Green refers to someone like that in a vlog and I know who they are. If you don't know who they are I urge you to do a bit of research. Especially Beaudrillard, if you like artsy stuff in any way shape or form I think you'll find it interesting. Look up his 'four stages of postmodernism,' it'll leave you confused but enlightened at the same time! Or maybe I'll blog about it in the future. Actually I think I will, stay tuned!
What I really wanted to talk about today, which seems a bit unimportant now, was my perfect image of my future that I had this morning. It includes me sitting in a library in my future house. I've always wanted a library. One with big windows overlooking fields and trees and shelves groaning with books with rolling ladders. But not just books, I'm secretly obsessed with comic books.
Well not really secretly. It's something else I've noticed in thinking about our right to be who we are, and watching vlogbrothers that I have a right to like what I like in life and be proud of it. I went through school being downtrodden and mocked for wanting to learn things and for being a nerd, and it was this that broke me a little bit and why I'm only regaining my confidence with myself now. I'm glad I have, because I can now say, 'yeah I'm a geek' and 'yeah I go to bed reading Spider-man and Tintin.' I love comics, I think they're hugely under-appreciated. I recently went to see the Avengers with Stu which might have spurred on my love for them somewhat.
I just think, as a story writer myself, the fact that these writers and artists can keep stories going for literally thousands of issues, drawing on all corners of sci-fi and fantasy is amazing. How they keep on thinking of fresh ideas every week is admirable and aspirational and I'd love to emulate them in my own writing life.
Therefore in my library with my rolling ladders I want a whole stack of comic books all lined up in order because I'm a bit OCD with shelving. Not just comics though, I've recently taken the dive off the musically intellectual high board. This might sound poncy and pretentious, but I've recently been trying to get into classical music and I intend to move onto opera. I was inspired by Britain's Got Talent believe it or not. You might have seen it, look up 'Jonathan Does Opera' on youtube and you'll find him. He sang Opera with his girlfriend Charlotte on BGT and I was completely and utterly blown away. He was singing in a different language but he brought an emotional response out of me. So I'm now very interested in exploring the classical strand of music. I really want to go to the Royal Opera House wearing a suit (because you have to) and feel jolly well clever.
So I want lots of records of classical music. I might have mentioned it before, I collect LPs, I just love them. I love all things classic really! That's why I write with a fountain pen. But records I think are special. First of all they baffle me. How do they make sound?? They're grooves in a bit of plastic! And the sound's far and away better than any other way of listening to music. I'm sure others who know the difference between speakers would argue, but to my ears vinyl is best.
And also I'd like some Burt Bacharach and Bob Fox, an amazing folk singer I discovered in Warhorse. Bacharach though is because of Mr Gallagher's influence. I defy you to go listen to 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' and not smile. So I want records in my dream library, and a gramophone to play them on. I can read my comics with my music with a nice cup of tea and a packet of bourbon biscuits.
Then I could do some writing and read some books on theories of stuff and paint a picture. Tell me that doesn't sound like a perfect hate-free place to be?
I also want a hamster, he can roll around in a little hamster ball and keep me happy. I'm easily pleased. He'll either be called Tony Stark or Mr Weasley I haven't decided yet.
That's right ladies, all of this is single.
If you'd like to comment on anything then there's a box made just for you below this post! Or if you'd really like, give me an email as my super-special email account just for my readers. OhBloggingHell@hotmail.co.uk.
* Today is the 14th May 2012 and the weather outside looks like this:
According to the good people in our government here in Great Britain, this is called a drought. I know, we voted for them. Oh wait... **
** I do understand that we are only technically in a 'drought' because last year we had a really low rainfall and as a result of this the water levels we have to use have to be brought back up again. Therefore we have to be thrifty with our water usage. But still! Is it that hard to give this particular situation another name? This is quite clearly not a drought. A drought is something I associate with sun and hot and sand and the start of Order of the Phoenix! We thought of a name for Twitter we can think of a new name for this!! Watergate! Oh no that's a thing. Droughtgate? Oh that doesn't really solve the issue. I'll get on it.
Hank's vlog about gay rights: http://youtu.be/PD-INsIbVcw
I often think about the future. Most of the time nowadays this involves all of the pointless, expensive things I would like to have but unfortunately do not possess the money to attain. The things I'd like to have aren't always so superficial. Recently as a previous blog mentioned (David Tries Being Productive) I've had a renewed thirst for gaining knowledge. It might be to do with watching the vlogs of Hank and John Green on Youtube. If you've not read the novels of John Green then I'm sorry you must, get your bottom to Waterstones, skip whatever work/school/day you had planned and have a read. He is one of the best writers on earth in my opinion and I will very much enjoy Looking for Alaska which I've saved for my upcoming holiday. The brothers live far apart and communicate with a vlog a week to each other. These vlogs are not only hilarious and celebratory of the existence of nerds and geeks and everything in between, but I find them very thought provoking.
Hank's last one for instance was about the recent controversy about states in America making gay marriage illegal. I'll leave a link to Hank's vlog at the end because he can communicate his thought's a lot better than me. I'll give it a go though.
Who decides that someone can't be who they are? That's just Nazi if you ask me. There are so many ridiculous arguments against being gay and I cannot understand the thought processes behind them. Arguments like 'it's unnatural' and 'it'll devalue the idea of straight marriage.' How and how? Natural is what people do with their lives, everything is natural because we are natural, and people are gay so gay is natural. There, take that nay-sayers, logic defies hate. Unnatural behaviour if you ask me is killing someone, that's unnatural, mugging someone of their livelihood, that's unnatural. Hating against someone for what they believe and love, that's unnatural. And devaluing straight marriage? Because celebrities getting married only to divorce five minutes later doesn't do that.
And the biggest thing which people say is 'God hates gay people.' I'll save my personal religious views for another day. Lets just say I'm not affiliated with any religion in particular, I believe in something but not in a conventional sense. Agnostic if you want to label me I guess. I have looked in the Bible though, and at the passages people interpret as anti-gay, and they're so flimsy it's ridiculous. I'm not insulting a religion, please don't think I'd do that, but I don't like people interpreting things to breed hate. Tell me, what's the difference between this and people interpreting the Qu'ran to blow up a building? I DO NOT question anyone's right to believe in anything, or indeed a right to believe in nothing. I question the sense in doing this to a so-called holy text to contradict the big message a little later in the same text. 'Treat one another as you would like to be treated.' How would you like it if the government made being straight illegal?
I apologise I'm getting on my high horse. I do have views though, and I'm not having a moan, well I am. I just think hating is nonsensical and predominantly an occupation of nasty small minded people. In David's world we would be able to like what we like, believe in what we believe and love who we love. It really annoys me when we as the human race appear to take a step backwards towards achieving this equality which everyone, hater or not apparently strives to achieve.
Now liking what we like, that's what I really wanted to talk about today. I hope I won't now devalue what I've just said. Maybe it's good, normal service has been resumed. I guess I did try something new today then! Communicating views like one of those proper blog people. I feel like I've been initiated.
Anyway, as I was saying before I was distracted, and it supports my mini-rant in a way, being knowledgable and understanding things is celebrated by the vlogbrothers, and I certainly aspire to be like them. Reading books on modernism for instance for one of my modules next year is something that I complained about only about a year ago, but now can't get enough of! I want to talk about people like Jaques Derrida and Jean Beaudrillard with conviction and knowledge behind me. And it makes me very happy when someone like John Green refers to someone like that in a vlog and I know who they are. If you don't know who they are I urge you to do a bit of research. Especially Beaudrillard, if you like artsy stuff in any way shape or form I think you'll find it interesting. Look up his 'four stages of postmodernism,' it'll leave you confused but enlightened at the same time! Or maybe I'll blog about it in the future. Actually I think I will, stay tuned!
What I really wanted to talk about today, which seems a bit unimportant now, was my perfect image of my future that I had this morning. It includes me sitting in a library in my future house. I've always wanted a library. One with big windows overlooking fields and trees and shelves groaning with books with rolling ladders. But not just books, I'm secretly obsessed with comic books.
Well not really secretly. It's something else I've noticed in thinking about our right to be who we are, and watching vlogbrothers that I have a right to like what I like in life and be proud of it. I went through school being downtrodden and mocked for wanting to learn things and for being a nerd, and it was this that broke me a little bit and why I'm only regaining my confidence with myself now. I'm glad I have, because I can now say, 'yeah I'm a geek' and 'yeah I go to bed reading Spider-man and Tintin.' I love comics, I think they're hugely under-appreciated. I recently went to see the Avengers with Stu which might have spurred on my love for them somewhat.
I just think, as a story writer myself, the fact that these writers and artists can keep stories going for literally thousands of issues, drawing on all corners of sci-fi and fantasy is amazing. How they keep on thinking of fresh ideas every week is admirable and aspirational and I'd love to emulate them in my own writing life.
Therefore in my library with my rolling ladders I want a whole stack of comic books all lined up in order because I'm a bit OCD with shelving. Not just comics though, I've recently taken the dive off the musically intellectual high board. This might sound poncy and pretentious, but I've recently been trying to get into classical music and I intend to move onto opera. I was inspired by Britain's Got Talent believe it or not. You might have seen it, look up 'Jonathan Does Opera' on youtube and you'll find him. He sang Opera with his girlfriend Charlotte on BGT and I was completely and utterly blown away. He was singing in a different language but he brought an emotional response out of me. So I'm now very interested in exploring the classical strand of music. I really want to go to the Royal Opera House wearing a suit (because you have to) and feel jolly well clever.
So I want lots of records of classical music. I might have mentioned it before, I collect LPs, I just love them. I love all things classic really! That's why I write with a fountain pen. But records I think are special. First of all they baffle me. How do they make sound?? They're grooves in a bit of plastic! And the sound's far and away better than any other way of listening to music. I'm sure others who know the difference between speakers would argue, but to my ears vinyl is best.
And also I'd like some Burt Bacharach and Bob Fox, an amazing folk singer I discovered in Warhorse. Bacharach though is because of Mr Gallagher's influence. I defy you to go listen to 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' and not smile. So I want records in my dream library, and a gramophone to play them on. I can read my comics with my music with a nice cup of tea and a packet of bourbon biscuits.
Then I could do some writing and read some books on theories of stuff and paint a picture. Tell me that doesn't sound like a perfect hate-free place to be?
I also want a hamster, he can roll around in a little hamster ball and keep me happy. I'm easily pleased. He'll either be called Tony Stark or Mr Weasley I haven't decided yet.
That's right ladies, all of this is single.
If you'd like to comment on anything then there's a box made just for you below this post! Or if you'd really like, give me an email as my super-special email account just for my readers. OhBloggingHell@hotmail.co.uk.
* Today is the 14th May 2012 and the weather outside looks like this:
According to the good people in our government here in Great Britain, this is called a drought. I know, we voted for them. Oh wait... **
** I do understand that we are only technically in a 'drought' because last year we had a really low rainfall and as a result of this the water levels we have to use have to be brought back up again. Therefore we have to be thrifty with our water usage. But still! Is it that hard to give this particular situation another name? This is quite clearly not a drought. A drought is something I associate with sun and hot and sand and the start of Order of the Phoenix! We thought of a name for Twitter we can think of a new name for this!! Watergate! Oh no that's a thing. Droughtgate? Oh that doesn't really solve the issue. I'll get on it.
Hank's vlog about gay rights: http://youtu.be/PD-INsIbVcw
Saturday 12 May 2012
Some kind Super Shampoo! or Superpoo? or 'David Tries Being Sensible'
I'm afraid I've lied to you dear reader, I have been in no way sensible. God knows I tried but I'm just too much weird to manage it!
It all started so well. I tried wet shaving yesterday and oh my god was it worth it! I've always been a dry shave and stubble trimmer kind of guy, but I just thought the other day 'you know what man-skill I really should master?' Of course I speak of the wet shave. It's featured so much in our TV culture, the father that teaches the son how to carve the hair from his face using a series of razors. Is there any more manly moment in the world? You might as well spit from a car, powersliding around a racetrack set on fire with vodka. Even that pales in comparison to using whatever Gilette-Fusion-Power-Stealth-Awesome-Sex-Device that you've decided to use to tidy up your face fuzz. Some consumer advice, the Gilette Fusion Stealth Power is actually a waste of money, do as I did and buy the Gilette Fusion Pro-glide. I know, it sounds a bit nancy but when you hold it and you feel the weight and man is with razor then you'll know you've made the right decision.
And the shaving gel! I've never had a more amazing substance on my face...that came out wrong. What I mean to say is, it starts off as gel, until you rub it in, and it explodes into some kind of crazy lubricating foam stuff! That's soap you idiot! I hear you cry but trust me it makes soap look like last season's chinos.
Anyhow, with this highly successful new thing tried and a beautifully closely shaved smooth face, I tried very hard to continue my sensible(ish) week by going to the gym this morning. I'm going on holiday next week with my friends and I'm determined to do something over the next few days about my takeaway belly. This means of course that I am now aching. What worries me is that the game of Kinect Sports I had with Stu and Simon last night has made me ache more than the gym. Either Microsoft has created the world's greatest fitness device or I'm doing the gym wrong.
I was quite proud of myself as I grabbed a Subway on the way home. (Only a 6 inch, getting a footlong after the gym would have been a bit like painting the wall of your living room a delightful shade of magnolia and then weeing all over it) I then had the world's greatest sit-down on my return and considered what to do with the rest of my day.
After watching Glee and League of Their Own, horror struck me. There was something I was supposed to do today. I was missing out on an opportunity that every man woman and child in the universe would hate me for passing up. If you have not done what I've just been to do then I implore you, go and do the same! There is still time.
Today in the Sun, there is a free UEFA Euro 2012 Poland-Ukraine Panini Football Sticker Album. Football stickers are one of my favourite things ever. Or they were when I was a bit younger. When the Sun Dream Team emailed me yesterday (I'm 2nd in our house league by the way, not bad) about this once in a lifetime deal, I was very much so excited and decided to not make a fool of myself and pass it up. Which is why I'm glad that the album is sat next to me on the sofa and I plan to get a job for the soul purpose of completing it. A feat which we all strive for but few manage.
My trip to Sainsbury's therefore was where my sensibleness or sensibilitude if you will (new word, use it wisely) promptly disappeared. It hadn't started well since I was only going to get a sticker album. But somewhere between watching Glee and dramatically miming Noel Gallagher songs on the walk there I went a bit mad. I shouldn't really be allowed to go to Sainsbury's by myself. Yes I bought milk and 48 Weetabix, a sensible breakfast option...
Just a quick aside, what is the point of Shredded Wheat? What a diabolical waste of breakfast! They're hollow for God's sake! Ian Botham tells us about their nutritional value from inside them, I've seen it on TV! But they're just so dull! I'd rather have Ricicles and no one wants Ricicles.
Anyway, I then bought Shampoo as I was out. A new Herbal Essences one, this once promising 'Renewed Colour' or something along those lines. (Really straight honest) An idea struck me as I browsed the brightly coloured hair-oriented delights that I maintain are in the aisle which clearly says 'Men's Toiletries'. All you girls are being so manly with Herbal Essences! Anyway, I suddenly thought, what if I combined Seductively Straight, with this colour one, with the one which adds volume! A shampoo I've always steered clear of, the last thing my tangled mess of hair needs is volume. But surely, if I combined it with the other two I'll have hair rivalled only by David Tennant and David Ginola! I could merely flick my hair and the ladies would flock around me in bikinis! I wouldn't even need Lynx. I'll have some kind of Super Shampoo! or Superpoo! Oh no, maybe not. It's a thought anyway.
I implore you to find a stranger man than I.
My trip to Sainsbury's was met with a small fail however. I did also attempt to buy a hanging basket of strawberries because I really like strawberries, but the item was recalled and the self checkout machine freaked out so I followed suit and ran away.
Some things even I won't be judged for and trying to buy a recalled hanging basket of strawberries is one of them.
It all started so well. I tried wet shaving yesterday and oh my god was it worth it! I've always been a dry shave and stubble trimmer kind of guy, but I just thought the other day 'you know what man-skill I really should master?' Of course I speak of the wet shave. It's featured so much in our TV culture, the father that teaches the son how to carve the hair from his face using a series of razors. Is there any more manly moment in the world? You might as well spit from a car, powersliding around a racetrack set on fire with vodka. Even that pales in comparison to using whatever Gilette-Fusion-Power-Stealth-Awesome-Sex-Device that you've decided to use to tidy up your face fuzz. Some consumer advice, the Gilette Fusion Stealth Power is actually a waste of money, do as I did and buy the Gilette Fusion Pro-glide. I know, it sounds a bit nancy but when you hold it and you feel the weight and man is with razor then you'll know you've made the right decision.
And the shaving gel! I've never had a more amazing substance on my face...that came out wrong. What I mean to say is, it starts off as gel, until you rub it in, and it explodes into some kind of crazy lubricating foam stuff! That's soap you idiot! I hear you cry but trust me it makes soap look like last season's chinos.
Anyhow, with this highly successful new thing tried and a beautifully closely shaved smooth face, I tried very hard to continue my sensible(ish) week by going to the gym this morning. I'm going on holiday next week with my friends and I'm determined to do something over the next few days about my takeaway belly. This means of course that I am now aching. What worries me is that the game of Kinect Sports I had with Stu and Simon last night has made me ache more than the gym. Either Microsoft has created the world's greatest fitness device or I'm doing the gym wrong.
I was quite proud of myself as I grabbed a Subway on the way home. (Only a 6 inch, getting a footlong after the gym would have been a bit like painting the wall of your living room a delightful shade of magnolia and then weeing all over it) I then had the world's greatest sit-down on my return and considered what to do with the rest of my day.
After watching Glee and League of Their Own, horror struck me. There was something I was supposed to do today. I was missing out on an opportunity that every man woman and child in the universe would hate me for passing up. If you have not done what I've just been to do then I implore you, go and do the same! There is still time.
Today in the Sun, there is a free UEFA Euro 2012 Poland-Ukraine Panini Football Sticker Album. Football stickers are one of my favourite things ever. Or they were when I was a bit younger. When the Sun Dream Team emailed me yesterday (I'm 2nd in our house league by the way, not bad) about this once in a lifetime deal, I was very much so excited and decided to not make a fool of myself and pass it up. Which is why I'm glad that the album is sat next to me on the sofa and I plan to get a job for the soul purpose of completing it. A feat which we all strive for but few manage.
My trip to Sainsbury's therefore was where my sensibleness or sensibilitude if you will (new word, use it wisely) promptly disappeared. It hadn't started well since I was only going to get a sticker album. But somewhere between watching Glee and dramatically miming Noel Gallagher songs on the walk there I went a bit mad. I shouldn't really be allowed to go to Sainsbury's by myself. Yes I bought milk and 48 Weetabix, a sensible breakfast option...
Just a quick aside, what is the point of Shredded Wheat? What a diabolical waste of breakfast! They're hollow for God's sake! Ian Botham tells us about their nutritional value from inside them, I've seen it on TV! But they're just so dull! I'd rather have Ricicles and no one wants Ricicles.
Anyway, I then bought Shampoo as I was out. A new Herbal Essences one, this once promising 'Renewed Colour' or something along those lines. (Really straight honest) An idea struck me as I browsed the brightly coloured hair-oriented delights that I maintain are in the aisle which clearly says 'Men's Toiletries'. All you girls are being so manly with Herbal Essences! Anyway, I suddenly thought, what if I combined Seductively Straight, with this colour one, with the one which adds volume! A shampoo I've always steered clear of, the last thing my tangled mess of hair needs is volume. But surely, if I combined it with the other two I'll have hair rivalled only by David Tennant and David Ginola! I could merely flick my hair and the ladies would flock around me in bikinis! I wouldn't even need Lynx. I'll have some kind of Super Shampoo! or Superpoo! Oh no, maybe not. It's a thought anyway.
I implore you to find a stranger man than I.
My trip to Sainsbury's was met with a small fail however. I did also attempt to buy a hanging basket of strawberries because I really like strawberries, but the item was recalled and the self checkout machine freaked out so I followed suit and ran away.
Some things even I won't be judged for and trying to buy a recalled hanging basket of strawberries is one of them.
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