Maybe I Will, Maybe I Won't or 'David Tries Being Employed.'

It has always bothered me that in this society, we are confined to one dream and one career path. Nowadays, you have to select your vocation from primary school age and follow it through adolescence into adulthood. For me, this has always been just about as possible as swimming on Jupiter and living to tell the tale. I cannot remember all the jobs I have wanted to do in my life, because that would take far too much time, probably bore you, and ultimately give me a headache; none of which I have a particular desire to do.

I have recently achieved a 3 month position as an intern with the Wimbledon BookFest. This is a job that I now hope will lead me into a career into publishing. At the same time, I hope it will improve my personal writing. The arrival at 'publicity assistant' was never my intended career path. Who sticks with their intended career path for 20 years? Lucky so-and-sos, that's who. 

The Wimbledon BookFest is currently run from the mezzanine of one of their sponsors: Marcus Beale architects. When I walked in for my interview, past a small ocean of iMacs, clean white desks, maquette models of buildings and towns, watercolour paintings and those cool slanty desks architects use, I was reminded of a career dream I had in year 8. I remember year 8 because I recall asking my year 8 RE teacher, a brilliant gent called Mr Linnane (spelled correctly, he hopes): how long you have to go to school/university for to become an architect? The reply: 7 years.

Now, at the time this was an insurmountable amount of time for me to spend at university. This is rich, considering that only a few months ago I had my heart set on doing a Ph. D in English Literature; a profession I now realise I do not have the money or time to take on. I'll be honest, parts of English criticism annoy me. Another blog for another day, but I believe that 3 more years of that was not the right path for me. Nevertheless, quite by accident I was more than prepared to do my 7 years of university. 

        So I could have been an architect I hear you say. However, I gave up on that dream for another reason. I love art. I always loved it at school, I still love drawing and painting and anything of the sort, but at AS Level I did Art with 3 essay subjects and almost drowned under the workload. Needless to say I gave up Art, and with it that dream.

Then there's the other problem. I don't like to be told what to do. Watchers of Lost may imagine John Locke screaming: 'don't tell me what I can't do!', but I assure you, my story is quite a bit less dramatic. 

So I have always written. I have always dreamed of being published, making a lot of money and being rescued from the rat race. Hence my also spending amounts of money I never had on the lottery throughout the 7 years subsequent to my turning 16. 

A fear of work maybe? I'd agree with you, but I currently study on a Master's course in Children's Literature, write a book, work as a receptionist in a library and also work at Wimbledon every Thursday and at author events, so that's not it. It's not a fear of work, it's a fear of being stuck. Stuck in a place I don't want to be. 

It took me a while, but I soon realised at some point in the last two years that I needed a good job, a realistic job that will give me money and time to do what I liked to do most with my life. Read books, write books, watch films, watch plays, paint paintings, bake cakes and spend days in London in assorted Caffe Neros with the missus. With all of these things, things that I'll never lose or give up, no matter what my job is, I'll never feel stuck. But with that thought in mind lay the question: what am I good at doing?

I arrived at this point after deciding to become a teacher because everyone else was (returning to this idea recently as it appeared I couldn't do anything else). I don't want to be a teacher. The teaching profession is one I respect hugely, yet I know it's not for me. It's like knowing I'm not gay. I have zero problem with homosexuality. I believe, wholeheartedly, and pray the day will come soon when freedom has reached a certain level where the world is not narrow-minded enough to disapprove of things like this. I would do anything to fight for this cause. However, in my heart, I know that isn't me.  I respect teachers, but I could never work in such a pressurised, authoritative environment, controlled by the controlling forces *cough* Gove *cough* who make the job damn near impossible. 

I was once going to apply for graduate schemes, only to find that they may send me to the far ends of the earth. I love holidays, but I'm not a traveller. I never will be. I am one of the folk of our not so green and pleasant land who is quite happy to stay here, and finds an odd sort of beauty in the oily sheen of a rainsoaked M23. 

I arrived at publicity assistant because of luck. Because I found an MA at a lovely London university with a temping office, and was lucky enough to have gathered adequate experience to lead me to Wimbledon. I love meeting authors and thinking about book festivals, and talking to people in the business I have craved since I was 6 years old. Being in the business is good no matter what your entry point, and this is a wonderful dream for me. In the meantime, I very much enjoy my job as a receptionist. To paraphrase Transformers (stay with me), I want the job after this job, but you still have to do the first job first. There's no point in whining about that simple fact of life. 

I will never be an architect. I will never be an artist. I will never be a photographer. I will never work in a zoo, learning about fantastic creatures and making friends with elephants. I'll never be a high flying film journalist as I was lucky enough to experience for 11 months last year. Maybe I will experience these things in small ways throughout my life, but my life has told me that writing is my calling. Maybe I'll teach creative writing at a university one day? Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll be published? Maybe I won't. The fact of the matter is I write and continue to write. That's enough for me. 

I'd Like to Call Him Tony Stark or Mr Weasley or 'David Tries Being Opinionated'

Alright I didn't actually technically try anything new for this blog. Being a bit naughty I know, but hey, it's raining (again *) so I thought I'd communicate a thought I had this morning.

I often think about the future. Most of the time nowadays this involves all of the pointless, expensive things I would like to have but unfortunately do not possess the money to attain. The things I'd like to have aren't always so superficial. Recently as a previous blog mentioned (David Tries Being Productive) I've had a renewed thirst for gaining knowledge. It might be to do with watching the vlogs of Hank and John Green on Youtube. If you've not read the novels of John Green then I'm sorry you must, get your bottom to Waterstones, skip whatever work/school/day you had planned and have a read. He is one of the best writers on earth in my opinion and I will very much enjoy Looking for Alaska which I've saved for my upcoming holiday. The brothers live far apart and communicate with a vlog a week to each other. These vlogs are not only hilarious and celebratory of the existence of nerds and geeks and everything in between, but I find them very thought provoking.

Hank's last one for instance was about the recent controversy about states in America making gay marriage illegal. I'll leave a link to Hank's vlog at the end because he can communicate his thought's a lot better than me. I'll give it a go though.

Who decides that someone can't be who they are? That's just Nazi if you ask me. There are so many ridiculous arguments against being gay and I cannot understand the thought processes behind them. Arguments like 'it's unnatural' and 'it'll devalue the idea of straight marriage.' How and how? Natural is what people do with their lives, everything is natural because we are natural, and people are gay so gay is natural. There, take that nay-sayers, logic defies hate. Unnatural behaviour if you ask me is killing someone, that's unnatural, mugging someone of their livelihood, that's unnatural. Hating against someone for what they believe and love, that's unnatural. And devaluing straight marriage? Because celebrities getting married only to divorce five minutes later doesn't do that.

And the biggest thing which people say is 'God hates gay people.' I'll save my personal religious views for another day. Lets just say I'm not affiliated with any religion in particular, I believe in something but not in a conventional sense. Agnostic if you want to label me I guess. I have looked in the Bible though, and at the passages people interpret as anti-gay, and they're so flimsy it's ridiculous. I'm not insulting a religion, please don't think I'd do that, but I don't like people interpreting things to breed hate. Tell me, what's the difference between this and people interpreting the Qu'ran to blow up a building? I DO NOT question anyone's right to believe in anything, or indeed a right to believe in nothing. I question the sense in doing this to a so-called holy text to contradict the big message a little later in the same text. 'Treat one another as you would like to be treated.' How would you like it if the government made being straight illegal?

I apologise I'm getting on my high horse. I do have views though, and I'm not having a moan, well I am. I just think hating is nonsensical and predominantly an occupation of nasty small minded people. In David's world we would be able to like what we like, believe in what we believe and love who we love. It really annoys me when we as the human race appear to take a step backwards towards achieving this equality which everyone, hater or not apparently strives to achieve.

Now liking what we like, that's what I really wanted to talk about today. I hope I won't now devalue what I've just said. Maybe it's good, normal service has been resumed. I guess I did try something new today then! Communicating views like one of those proper blog people. I feel like I've been initiated.

Anyway, as I was saying before I was distracted, and it supports my mini-rant in a way, being knowledgable and understanding things is celebrated by the vlogbrothers, and I certainly aspire to be like them. Reading books on modernism for instance for one of my modules next year is something that I complained about only about a year ago, but now can't get enough of! I want to talk about people like Jaques Derrida and Jean Beaudrillard with conviction and knowledge behind me. And it makes me very happy when someone like John Green refers to someone like that in a vlog and I know who they are. If you don't know who they are I urge you to do a bit of research. Especially Beaudrillard, if you like artsy stuff in any way shape or form I think you'll find it interesting. Look up his 'four stages of postmodernism,' it'll leave you confused but enlightened at the same time! Or maybe I'll blog about it in the future. Actually I think I will, stay tuned!

What I really wanted to talk about today, which seems a bit unimportant now, was my perfect image of my future that I had this morning. It includes me sitting in a library in my future house. I've always wanted a library. One with big windows overlooking fields and trees and shelves groaning with books with rolling ladders. But not just books, I'm secretly obsessed with comic books.

Well not really secretly. It's something else I've noticed in thinking about our right to be who we are, and watching vlogbrothers that I have a right to like what I like in life and be proud of it. I went through school being downtrodden and mocked for wanting to learn things and for being a nerd, and it was this that broke me a little bit and why I'm only regaining my confidence with myself now. I'm glad I have, because I can now say, 'yeah I'm a geek' and 'yeah I go to bed reading Spider-man and Tintin.' I love comics, I think they're hugely under-appreciated. I recently went to see the Avengers with Stu which might have spurred on my love for them somewhat.

I just think, as a story writer myself, the fact that these writers and artists can keep stories going for literally thousands of issues, drawing on all corners of sci-fi and fantasy is amazing. How they keep on thinking of fresh ideas every week is admirable and aspirational and I'd love to emulate them in my own writing life.

Therefore in my library with my rolling ladders I want a whole stack of comic books all lined up in order because I'm a bit OCD with shelving. Not just comics though, I've recently taken the dive off the musically intellectual high board. This might sound poncy and pretentious, but I've recently been trying to get into classical music and I intend to move onto opera. I was inspired by Britain's Got Talent believe it or not. You might have seen it, look up 'Jonathan Does Opera' on youtube and you'll find him. He sang Opera with his girlfriend Charlotte on BGT and I was completely and utterly blown away. He was singing in a different language but he brought an emotional response out of me. So I'm now very interested in exploring the classical strand of music. I really want to go to the Royal Opera House wearing a suit (because you have to) and feel jolly well clever.

So I want lots of records of classical music. I might have mentioned it before, I collect LPs, I just love them. I love all things classic really! That's why I write with a fountain pen. But records I think are special. First of all they baffle me. How do they make sound?? They're grooves in a bit of plastic! And the sound's far and away better than any other way of listening to music. I'm sure others who know the difference between speakers would argue, but to my ears vinyl is best.

And also I'd like some Burt Bacharach and Bob Fox, an amazing folk singer I discovered in Warhorse. Bacharach though is because of Mr Gallagher's influence. I defy you to go listen to 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' and not smile. So I want records in my dream library, and a gramophone to play them on. I can read my comics with my music with a nice cup of tea and a packet of bourbon biscuits.

Then I could do some writing and read some books on theories of stuff and paint a picture. Tell me that doesn't sound like a perfect hate-free place to be?

I also want a hamster, he can roll around in a little hamster ball and keep me happy. I'm easily pleased. He'll either be called Tony Stark or Mr Weasley I haven't decided yet.

That's right ladies, all of this is single.

If you'd like to comment on anything then there's a box made just for you below this post! Or if you'd really like, give me an email as my super-special email account just for my readers. OhBloggingHell@hotmail.co.uk.

* Today is the 14th May 2012 and the weather outside looks like this:

According to the good people in our government here in Great Britain, this is called a drought. I know, we voted for them. Oh wait... **

** I do understand that we are only technically in a 'drought' because last year we had a really low rainfall and as a result of this the water levels we have to use have to be brought back up again. Therefore we have to be thrifty with our water usage. But still! Is it that hard to give this particular situation another name? This is quite clearly not a drought. A drought is something I associate with sun and hot and sand and the start of Order of the Phoenix! We thought of a name for Twitter we can think of a new name for this!! Watergate! Oh no that's a thing. Droughtgate? Oh that doesn't really solve the issue. I'll get on it.

Hank's vlog about gay rights: http://youtu.be/PD-INsIbVcw

Hello, I'm the Doctor or 'David Tries Being Productive'

This will turn into a mini-biography, I apologise for this!

My post uni life has always been a source of great concern for me. I've never really been sure about what I want to do with this life of mine! Since I was very little I've wanted to write books for a living. I used to go round my granddad's house and he'd staple pieces of drawing paper together for me so I could write stories. I remember writing a few pages of a book called 'The Secret Island' happily cross-legged in his front room. (I also remember him telling me there was a secret trapdoor under a creaky floorboard which I now realise was actually just a creaky floorboard but still.) I maintain after many years Lost stole my idea and promptly screwed it up in it's last season!

Anyway, writing stories has always been far and away my favourite past-time, I'm sure if I'd been more into playing football or music I'd have had a few more girlfriends in my life, but I've always jumped at any opportunity to write a story. I used to love creative writing in primary school, and loved reading stories out at the front of the class. They were probably all the same now I look back; some kind of James Bond meets the Famous Five extravaganza with car chases and lost treasure. 

I am very pleased to inform any reader therefore (with a certain amount of trepidation, knowing the harshness of the industry I so desperately want to be a part of) that my novel; 78,000 words which took me my entire childhood to get perfect, is currently being read by a literary agency and a publisher! A privilege not many people get. 

It's taken me a long time and many lonely hours to realise however, that you don't get published sitting in your bedroom tapping away at your computer. For so many years I was fed up with education and I took a gap year because I just adamantly refused to go to uni. An extremely lonely year which left me pale, skinny and ill-looking later I realised I did want to. One lecture in I found my love of learning rekindled, something I think I lost halfway through my GCSEs when I really started hating school for reasons nothing to do with what I was learning.

I think I could read as soon as I could walk (small exaggeration perhaps). I always remember my mum telling me that I wanted to learn things even before school, to read and write etc, and I carried that through primary school achieving many gold stars in Mrs Weatherley's year 5 class. And earning a trip to Eurodisney for getting commendations in Year 7! Nerd I hear you cry, but I feel now at the age of 21 I can be proud of this. And proud of being a nerd, and a geek, and all things associated. It's quite sad this was sapped from me in my latter secondary school years, but I'm very much glad that it's 100% back at the most important time.

I'm a firm believer that meeting people and a good group of friends can get you anywhere in life. I happened to take Irish Literature at uni, which I love so much I'm now looking into an MA which includes it as a module. Not only that but sitting in on my Irish lectures was a literary agent, the same literary agent who is now hopefully reading my book laughing and remaining attached to the edge of her seat.

The only way to get published in this world I firmly believe is through meeting the right people, and university has given me just this. The best friends in the world and the very best most inspiring group of lecturers and just general people I have ever come across. Where do I start? Do I tell you about the husband and wife linguistics expert lecturing team who should have their own sitcom? Do I tell you about the dry, intelligent dandy with the Hugh Grant haircut? The creative writing lecturer, the published author with the look of the mad scientist? The jack of all trades bouncy irishman/Beatles expert/general happiest man in the universe? Or my personal favourite, the jolly father christmas lookalike who proclaimed in a tragedy lecture that the Cenci by Percy Shelley was a 'fucking awful play!' I kid you not, he literally walked in and proclaimed it before greeting us with a cheerful 'morning gang!' And a fucking awful play it really is.

It's because of these people that I now want to learn everything I possibly can about the subject I love so much. It's only really occurred to me in the last hour or so that I want to be like them. I want to be the person at the front of the lecture hall inspiring people. I don't know why but that just sits right with me. I'm even excited about dissertations! I totted it up and between now and the end of the PHD I'll have to do, I'll have to write round about 150,000 words! Do I mind? Of course not! I'll be studying (hopefully) in London, the greatest most diverse city in the world, becoming an expert in things which appeal to me. All the while trying to get my own personal work published. Imagine the thought of having a dissertation or a PHD paper published! This is my dream and I will come out of this university with a first. 

And when I finish my PHD I'll say (rightfully) 'Hello I'm the Doctor' in my very best David Tennant impression and I'll be a happy man.

Go on, leave a comment, you know you want to.