Yes! Boom! Satire! or 'David Tries Understanding the Universe'

You know who sucks? The Flash!

I mean what a completely pointless superhero. What kind of superpower is moving really fast? Sure, in the burning building scenario superspeed might be a bit helpful, and as superhero films have been showing us for years, superheroes often come into contact with the burning building scenario. It's like a right of passage for most. DC do tend to make some sucky superheroes though. I mean Aquaman? Really? A hero who can only be super in water. And even Superman. I would like to get in on the Superman hype, but I just think it's too easy for him! He's indestructible!

What about Kryptonite I hear you say! Oh you mean that element that doesn't naturally occur on earth? Do me a flavour! That's like saying I'm going to stay inside because I'm allergic to Koala Bears. I sincerely hope I'm not because those mother fuggers are cute. But visiting the other side of the world (though I want to) is a particularly long distance to travel, and coming into contact with a Koala Bear in my day to day life is slim to none. Therefore to call it my weakness would be a bit scaredycat-like of me. So there Superman, debunked by the Koala Bear theory. I'm going to get that put on a t-shirt.

I spend a vast amount of time thinking about superheroes. Too much time really, and watching a 'Charlieissocoollike' video on youtube yesterday (link at the end, watch, superfunny!) My thinking about stuff got put into perspective a bit. Basically, my thought about the Flash, though it took a good two paragraphs to explain, is insignificant in comparison to the size of the universe.

And the world's most obvious statement of the year goes to...

Bear with me, because I found this incredibly interesting. If you ignore my superheroic rant for a minute and just think of me as a person, or indeed you as a person. Think how small you are compared to the amount of people in your country. Tiny! In Great Britain alone there are 60 million people! But then comprehend exactly how tiny you are in relation to the world's population. That's over 7 billion people!

7 billion people! All having their own independent thoughts about superheroes or otherwise. And everyone's thoughts are important! Well, I say important, Nick Clegg is a member of the planet earth fan club whether we like it or not.

Yes! Boom! Satire!

Anyway, think how many thoughts are happening right now, because we are all thinking, it's the one thing you can't stop doing no matter how hard you try. If you try all you do is think about not thinking which, surprise surprise, is still thinking. We even think when we sleep, that's why we dream. But any one person's individual thoughts, compared to the amount of people on planet earth, are tiny to the point of a microscopic bit of fluff on the back of an amoeba. But think of the variety of thoughts! It's scary to think that while I think about superheroes, someone in a third world country is thinking about how they haven't got a piece of rice to their name. In a cave in the middle east somewhere a terrorist might be plotting to kill me with thousands of others. It's scary to think of the range of thoughts occurring at any one time. And I'm a little ashamed, when I think who would win in a fight between the Flash and Thor (Thor obviously) that there are much more important things going on in the world.

And how we treat our world too. I read in the Sunday Times the other day that a conservative MP in Lincolnshire has banned the building of windfarms in his county. I mean, really? On what basis? That they're ugly. First of all, I think windfarms are quite beautiful, awe inspiring things, and secondly, does he care about this planet at all? I'm not an eco-mentalist by any stretch of the imagination, but I spend a great deal of time thinking about the future and killing our planet is not the way to go about it. So explain that one David Cameron (initials DC, no coincidence that he shares it with the comic company which pedals vast amounts of suck. Metaphor? I think so.)

However, and I am getting to my universe point, worry not! When you consider the problem of building windfarms on the scale of how small that one windfarm is to the size of our solar system, you have to take a step back. Illustrated beautifully by this picture:

Look how small the earth is compared to the sun? I think Charlie said that you can fit the earth in the sun a million times over. And then you think, if the earth's so small compared to something that big, think how many times I could fit in the sun? And think how small my one thought about superheroes is compared to the 7 billion other thoughts in this solar system.

And then you have to take another step back because the universe is infinite. Forever expanding and creating new matter. To think that we were created here by the explosion of another star, that the chunks of rock and earth that were formed in the centre of that star were flung out and one rock settled at this perfect point from the sun so that we could evolve to live and breath naturally is frankly the most awe inspiring, amazing thing I've ever heard. 

I can hear the raising of hands of religious folk who would say that this is no coincidence. That this must be divine intervention.

But it is coincidence. 

I have no issue with religious people. I have some issue with people, religious or not that they try and impose their beliefs on others. The right to believe is a right that I have no qualm with so please don't call me up on this one sentence.

But if the universe is infinite, then there are an infinite number of solar systems and an infinite number of galaxies for hundreds of thousands of solar systems to swirl around in. It stands to reason that a few of these solar systems, or indeed most of them, would happen to become ideally placed to support life. I don't think it was divined by any higher being that this should happen. I do believe it a 100% certainty therefore that there is life on other planets. How can there possibly not be when you consider the vastness of the universe? That this one planet that can fit a million times into the one star that can fit a billion times in stars elsewhere in the cosmos, is the only one that can support life is frankly a little big-headed of us.

It's like the monkey/Shakespeare allegory. If you gave an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters (going to adapt this for modern day) - If you gave an infinite number of monkeys, an infinite number of ipads, then eventually they'd come out with Shakespeare. I think that's a lot less amazing than it sounds. Or if you approach it from another perspective, more interesting than it sounds. I think the word 'infinite' is underestimated. It would really have to be an infinite number of monkeys. It's like Pi. Pi goes on forever so it stands to reason that within Pi every single conceivable combination of numbers will appear. Therefore if an infinite number of monkeys bashed on a touchscreen for long enough they'd come out with 'To be or not to be' because they'd (eventually) luckily stumble upon it. And it's the same with the universe, there are an infinite number of combinations in solar systems in distance from the sun, size of planet, type of atmosphere, that could possibly support life. Therefore it's 100% certain; well maybe not 100%, 99.99recurring% certain that this exact make up of a planet here on earth would occur elsewhere in the universe. And then you consider evolution. On other planets, almost certainly, other organisms would have evolved to suit themselves to the make up of their particular home planet. Suddenly science fiction doesn't seem so ridiculous. It's called science fiction for a reason, it's fiction with a base in science, or fact. When you get vastly different aliens all being able to breathe and survive on other planets, maybe that's a little more ridiculous, but it's not 100% improbable, that's what's amazing about the whole thing.

When I first realised this, the insignificance of my thoughts about superheroes scared me a bit. But then I started to think, and frankly I was inspired that people exist, on this planet, or have existed in the past, who worked this out. And that we, from our insignificant little corner of our galaxy, insignificant itself in the universe, can understand this about the universe, just from the power of thought and the thirst to gain knowledge, well I think that's pretty amazing.

I think thought is an amazing thing, and if there was one reason to be immortal, or to be the Doctor, or something similar would be to see the universe like this, and to understand things that humans probably aren't supposed to understand. But we're annoying like that, we like finding things out. So I'm always inspired when I come across people like Charlie McDonnell, or the Green brothers, or indeed any frighteningly intelligent people on youtube, or in blogs or indeed in real life. It inspires me that there will always be new Einsteins, and new Bachs, and new Shakespeares, because humans are just like that. We like to broaden our intelligence, and though it's insignificant universally, I think if at any one time you have a moment and you realise something that amazes you. Then universal insignificance kind of goes out of the window.

Therefore while insignificant in size compared to the universe, the power with which one tiny man or woman's thought can change the lives of 7 billion people is pretty incredible. That one person can write a book, or discover something that we all know is awe-inspiring to the point that all 7 billion people on planet earth should stand up this minute and give that person, alive or dead, a round of applause. I am! Right now because being grateful is important!

Therefore it also stands to reason that one day, off in the distant (or maybe not too distant) future; there will be men and women, and genuses that we have no names for will say/write/discover/sing/draw/cook things that will change an entire galaxy, or an entire universe even. Therefore the power of thought is an incredible, significant thing.

I mean we brought the Doctor back to life when the Master made him really old, that was pretty cool of us!

And then you have people who are interested in what Tulisa did this week. So tomato tomato really.

That doesn't really work when you write it.

Charlieissocoollike

Vlogbrothers

I'd Like to Call Him Tony Stark or Mr Weasley or 'David Tries Being Opinionated'

Alright I didn't actually technically try anything new for this blog. Being a bit naughty I know, but hey, it's raining (again *) so I thought I'd communicate a thought I had this morning.

I often think about the future. Most of the time nowadays this involves all of the pointless, expensive things I would like to have but unfortunately do not possess the money to attain. The things I'd like to have aren't always so superficial. Recently as a previous blog mentioned (David Tries Being Productive) I've had a renewed thirst for gaining knowledge. It might be to do with watching the vlogs of Hank and John Green on Youtube. If you've not read the novels of John Green then I'm sorry you must, get your bottom to Waterstones, skip whatever work/school/day you had planned and have a read. He is one of the best writers on earth in my opinion and I will very much enjoy Looking for Alaska which I've saved for my upcoming holiday. The brothers live far apart and communicate with a vlog a week to each other. These vlogs are not only hilarious and celebratory of the existence of nerds and geeks and everything in between, but I find them very thought provoking.

Hank's last one for instance was about the recent controversy about states in America making gay marriage illegal. I'll leave a link to Hank's vlog at the end because he can communicate his thought's a lot better than me. I'll give it a go though.

Who decides that someone can't be who they are? That's just Nazi if you ask me. There are so many ridiculous arguments against being gay and I cannot understand the thought processes behind them. Arguments like 'it's unnatural' and 'it'll devalue the idea of straight marriage.' How and how? Natural is what people do with their lives, everything is natural because we are natural, and people are gay so gay is natural. There, take that nay-sayers, logic defies hate. Unnatural behaviour if you ask me is killing someone, that's unnatural, mugging someone of their livelihood, that's unnatural. Hating against someone for what they believe and love, that's unnatural. And devaluing straight marriage? Because celebrities getting married only to divorce five minutes later doesn't do that.

And the biggest thing which people say is 'God hates gay people.' I'll save my personal religious views for another day. Lets just say I'm not affiliated with any religion in particular, I believe in something but not in a conventional sense. Agnostic if you want to label me I guess. I have looked in the Bible though, and at the passages people interpret as anti-gay, and they're so flimsy it's ridiculous. I'm not insulting a religion, please don't think I'd do that, but I don't like people interpreting things to breed hate. Tell me, what's the difference between this and people interpreting the Qu'ran to blow up a building? I DO NOT question anyone's right to believe in anything, or indeed a right to believe in nothing. I question the sense in doing this to a so-called holy text to contradict the big message a little later in the same text. 'Treat one another as you would like to be treated.' How would you like it if the government made being straight illegal?

I apologise I'm getting on my high horse. I do have views though, and I'm not having a moan, well I am. I just think hating is nonsensical and predominantly an occupation of nasty small minded people. In David's world we would be able to like what we like, believe in what we believe and love who we love. It really annoys me when we as the human race appear to take a step backwards towards achieving this equality which everyone, hater or not apparently strives to achieve.

Now liking what we like, that's what I really wanted to talk about today. I hope I won't now devalue what I've just said. Maybe it's good, normal service has been resumed. I guess I did try something new today then! Communicating views like one of those proper blog people. I feel like I've been initiated.

Anyway, as I was saying before I was distracted, and it supports my mini-rant in a way, being knowledgable and understanding things is celebrated by the vlogbrothers, and I certainly aspire to be like them. Reading books on modernism for instance for one of my modules next year is something that I complained about only about a year ago, but now can't get enough of! I want to talk about people like Jaques Derrida and Jean Beaudrillard with conviction and knowledge behind me. And it makes me very happy when someone like John Green refers to someone like that in a vlog and I know who they are. If you don't know who they are I urge you to do a bit of research. Especially Beaudrillard, if you like artsy stuff in any way shape or form I think you'll find it interesting. Look up his 'four stages of postmodernism,' it'll leave you confused but enlightened at the same time! Or maybe I'll blog about it in the future. Actually I think I will, stay tuned!

What I really wanted to talk about today, which seems a bit unimportant now, was my perfect image of my future that I had this morning. It includes me sitting in a library in my future house. I've always wanted a library. One with big windows overlooking fields and trees and shelves groaning with books with rolling ladders. But not just books, I'm secretly obsessed with comic books.

Well not really secretly. It's something else I've noticed in thinking about our right to be who we are, and watching vlogbrothers that I have a right to like what I like in life and be proud of it. I went through school being downtrodden and mocked for wanting to learn things and for being a nerd, and it was this that broke me a little bit and why I'm only regaining my confidence with myself now. I'm glad I have, because I can now say, 'yeah I'm a geek' and 'yeah I go to bed reading Spider-man and Tintin.' I love comics, I think they're hugely under-appreciated. I recently went to see the Avengers with Stu which might have spurred on my love for them somewhat.

I just think, as a story writer myself, the fact that these writers and artists can keep stories going for literally thousands of issues, drawing on all corners of sci-fi and fantasy is amazing. How they keep on thinking of fresh ideas every week is admirable and aspirational and I'd love to emulate them in my own writing life.

Therefore in my library with my rolling ladders I want a whole stack of comic books all lined up in order because I'm a bit OCD with shelving. Not just comics though, I've recently taken the dive off the musically intellectual high board. This might sound poncy and pretentious, but I've recently been trying to get into classical music and I intend to move onto opera. I was inspired by Britain's Got Talent believe it or not. You might have seen it, look up 'Jonathan Does Opera' on youtube and you'll find him. He sang Opera with his girlfriend Charlotte on BGT and I was completely and utterly blown away. He was singing in a different language but he brought an emotional response out of me. So I'm now very interested in exploring the classical strand of music. I really want to go to the Royal Opera House wearing a suit (because you have to) and feel jolly well clever.

So I want lots of records of classical music. I might have mentioned it before, I collect LPs, I just love them. I love all things classic really! That's why I write with a fountain pen. But records I think are special. First of all they baffle me. How do they make sound?? They're grooves in a bit of plastic! And the sound's far and away better than any other way of listening to music. I'm sure others who know the difference between speakers would argue, but to my ears vinyl is best.

And also I'd like some Burt Bacharach and Bob Fox, an amazing folk singer I discovered in Warhorse. Bacharach though is because of Mr Gallagher's influence. I defy you to go listen to 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' and not smile. So I want records in my dream library, and a gramophone to play them on. I can read my comics with my music with a nice cup of tea and a packet of bourbon biscuits.

Then I could do some writing and read some books on theories of stuff and paint a picture. Tell me that doesn't sound like a perfect hate-free place to be?

I also want a hamster, he can roll around in a little hamster ball and keep me happy. I'm easily pleased. He'll either be called Tony Stark or Mr Weasley I haven't decided yet.

That's right ladies, all of this is single.

If you'd like to comment on anything then there's a box made just for you below this post! Or if you'd really like, give me an email as my super-special email account just for my readers. OhBloggingHell@hotmail.co.uk.

* Today is the 14th May 2012 and the weather outside looks like this:

According to the good people in our government here in Great Britain, this is called a drought. I know, we voted for them. Oh wait... **

** I do understand that we are only technically in a 'drought' because last year we had a really low rainfall and as a result of this the water levels we have to use have to be brought back up again. Therefore we have to be thrifty with our water usage. But still! Is it that hard to give this particular situation another name? This is quite clearly not a drought. A drought is something I associate with sun and hot and sand and the start of Order of the Phoenix! We thought of a name for Twitter we can think of a new name for this!! Watergate! Oh no that's a thing. Droughtgate? Oh that doesn't really solve the issue. I'll get on it.

Hank's vlog about gay rights: http://youtu.be/PD-INsIbVcw