Decanters of Wine and Chateramas or 'David Tries Fighting the News'

I’m often asked to consider – more often than not by myself – why I write. Why do I want to be an author?

                I read something yesterday responding to something George Orwell once wrote. This being that successful authors don’t write for pleasure, or for love of the craft, but they are driven by some inescapable demon that keeps their mind focussed in divine purpose levels of concentration to see an idea and be compelled to commit it to paper.

                Orwell may be one of my favourite writers; I was blessed with excellent English teachers so I was raised on Animal Farm followed by 1984. I can’t profess to say I’ve read the passage of essay or speech where Orwell actually gave this view on writing. If I am to believe in the man who wrote some of my favourite books then I’m inclined to say that these are merely the words of a columnist who doesn't love his job the way I would if I were lucky enough to have it. Having said that, I don’t need to love the man to love his work – look at Liam Gallagher.

                I write because I love it. The simple moment of having an idea can make my day. The completion of another chapter, another scene, blog, article or even a tweet perfectly balanced with sarcasm and humour; ideally fit without a character to spare. However, I would never say I’d be completely satisfied if everything I’ve ever written stayed on my computer. Almost, but still. That’s why I read.

                When I read the news, just taking today as an example, I can list the things going on the world that scare me, sadden me and offend me. We have the Oscars, 97% of films written and produced by men this year. We have ISIS, 3 more women abandoning radiology degrees and lives here off to join them. We have the imminent threat of war from the East. Russia seems poised to cause some sort of international incident. The term ‘end of the world’ gets bandied about in something other than a dystopian novel, and it’s not something I want to be reading when I’m watching Mary Berry make scones on BBC1. The oceans are full of plastic, children are increasingly becoming depressed and killing themselves because of the pressure heaped on them during exams. Let’s widen that, the education system in this country is under threat from people who don’t believe books – the things I live by - are important. The NHS is buggered. All the while we have a bunch of toffs and shadow-toffs engaged in childish arguments shouting ‘pick-me, pick-me’ when I’m sat wondering why they don’t just set their decanters of wine and chateramas aside and do something to fix the world depicted in the news every morning.

                The list goes on. So I turn to books. Books warn us of dystopia and evidence continually surfaces to suggest we’re travelling at breakneck speed towards one. Some might say we live in one already.

                But fear not, I don’t wish to spread the doom the news media shoves down our throats. If we examine books, we see new, exciting debut authors every day. Books stare at the man-laden film world and hold up the big two fingers. We have women heroines in abundance. We have even more women writers and we, the readers who think them wonderful for their minds, not – E! Entertainment - for how pedicured their feet are.

                Books offer ideas that have us believe a better world, either by showing us that world or holding up a mirror on our own, so we might change our paths and create one that doesn't look quite so bad. They offer us solutions to war, cures to terror, visions of a world where innocents aren't murdered and people far cleverer than you or me be the change they want to see.

                So I turn to these. These fragments I have shored against my ruins, as TS Eliot famously, if not a little melodramatically, once wrote. When modern life attempts to bring you down in the guise of a newspaper, you can look away; peel open the pages of an old favourite, listen to a fantastic song or flick on the best on screen and realise that things aren't quite so bad.

                So I would ask Mr Farage when he disregards the arts because he might not be intelligent enough to put down his pint and pick up Animal Farm instead, I’d hope that he’d feel the guilt shared by thousands that their reflection has a snout.

I Contradict this Snobbism or 'David Tries Blobbery'

I really hate snobbery.

I could end it there really, it'd be the shortest blog ever but heavens to Betsy it would get my point across!

Who was this Betsy woman by the way? If you have any ideas or answers a cheeky little comment would be much appreciated!

But anyway, snobbery. On the plane back from Spain a couple of days ago, I was having a chat with my friend Ryan about it and during the chat I wondered what the opposite to it was. The feeling of looking back up at the people who look down their noses at you. I've experienced snobbery on many occasions in my life. Instances jump out at me in the past few months and I've come to find the worst kind of snobbery comes out of the blue.

When I went to the London Book Fair for example, the amount of people, in their clean cut, boring coloured suits who would look down their noses at me was off the scale. I was just wearing a Rolling Stones T-shirt and some green chinos because following the crowd is fun.

It's strange that you can even experience snobbery for doing things like that. I like chinos! Well maybe that's a bad example, I don't like them as much as I did, I started to get the impression I was dressing like a member of One Direction and immediately found some jeans. I especially reject chinos and indeed any long trousered leg shielding device during this mini heatwave we're now having in England. See Mr Cameron! Drought! This is what it feels like.

Anyway Ryan and I discovered there was no word for those of us who looked back up the noses of judgement. I'd like to suggest blobbery because it sounds funny, but it has nothing to do with chubbiness so maybe it needs rethinking. But anyway, snobs come in all shapes and sizes and it's strange to me that while it may have been at some point, it has nothing to do with class distinctions.

Class interests me in a big way, and I'll always jump on such a question if it's one of my chosen eight in an English exam. It's why I really love George Orwell and have many differently covered copies of 1984. It is a love of Orwell which has subjected me to my subject on many an occasion. As an English student I feel as though (from my experiences of talking to snobs) that my favourite author should be someone like Gabriel Garcia Marquez or someone equally nichéy. Orwell, due to the unfortunate fact that Animal Farm and 1984 are on GCSE and lower school syllabuses, people would view my favourite author with a certain degree of 'oh you haven't really tried have you.'

I contradict this snobbism. Why shouldn't my favourite writer be one who writes deeply interesting stories and essays in such a way which is easy for the reader to pick up. I love that you can see Orwell's thought process as he writes. I love how the books are clearly great stories but also hold another intellectual level to them. I always disagree when a book is just the message and not the story. I'd also say my other favourite authors are Anthony Horowitz and John Green. Snobbery would probably dictate that they're 'below my level' or something equally ridiculous. I dare you to read a John Green book and not come out seeing the world in a slightly different, improved light. The clever thing which always amazes me about a book and I've more than likely said it before, is that the reader can get different things out of it depending on who they are. 1984 epitomizes this. Look how many other books cite 1984 as their main influence. I bought 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami purely based on the fact that I thought it might have something a bit Orwellian about it. (1Q84 - 1q84 - 1984) And also Waterstones and Amazon kept on recommending it to me.

I'm useless at ignoring consumer advice. Or shop assistant advice. It's not even advice it's just sneaky and aimed at poor susceptible people like me. I was in Subway the other day for instance and I was being good, I only got a 6", but right before I paid the shop assistant asked me 'do you want three cookies for 99p?' And I stopped, briefly considered before replying, 'yeah I do actually!' I'm useless, if a shop assistant offers me something I'll more than likely accept. Maybe it's a British thing.

But anyway snobbery. The one that really gets me is music snobbery. Musical prescriptivism gets right on my tits to coin a phrase from my cockney heritage. Obviously everyone likes different things, but it's people who tell other people, as Dara O'Briain says 'don't listen to these sounds in your ears, they are the wrong sounds, you must listen to these sounds.' And I'm 100% with Dara there, why should I listen to those sounds? I'm perfectly happy here listening to Keane and while I may not personally like Tinie Tempah for example, I wouldn't go and say someone should stop listening to Mr Tempah in favour of Keane. I am willing to give things a try, and I'd hope people would do the same because Keane are bloomin' great. I love expanding my musical horizons, and if I'm honest I'll always go backwards into musical history to get something new. I absolutely love the blues for instance. You know you get those singers whose voice or playing guitar or whatever they may be doing with music really seems to connect with you. Maybe it's just me being all romantic and silly but when I listen to Eric Clapton I go into a bit of a zen mode and I might have some sort of epiphany or idea. I don't know what it is about particular musicians which do this. I hope other people experience this. If you do then please leave a comment, nice to know I'm that little bit less weird if there's two of us! Also comment to recommend me music! I'm always looking for more stuff. Particularly modern stuff. Anything but metal, just don't get it! Actually no, even metal, turn me, I'm really easily convinced.

It's all part of my personal world view that people should be able to like/do/love/be whatever they so desire. I really don't like the feeling of being judged for the way I choose to live my life. Because I like living my life and I'm really proud of what I'm doing with it. I don't think it's very human to think that you're somehow better than someone else just because of the things you like. I do believe you can be a better person in but one way, and that's treating other people nicely. I'm really honestly not paraphrasing a bible quote there. That comes from me, and that's the conclusion I've arrived at over recent times. Really, it's the only important thing and I think snobbery is a big old contradiction of claiming to try and do that.

So snobs, stop it.

See I've just had an idea for a book. Thank you Keane.