There are moments in your life where you really have to decide what you want to do with your years on the earth. It sounds scary, but at the age of 23, having a million ambitions really wasn't sensible. It's all very well saying 'I want to write, I want to be a literary agent, and I want to be a lecturer' but lets be realistic, who has the time for all that after you take eating, breathing and browsing Waterstones into account. I certainly don't.
Unfortunately, this stark, scary moment of realisation meant a cutting of one of my three dreams. Needless to say, writing always has and always will be here to stay. I can't bear giving up the simple thing of putting black marks on a piece of paper and imagining a million others reading it.
Lecturers inspire me, I think they always have and they always will too. I'm going to hit you with a bit of theory. Last week, in a lecture on my MA course, we discussed an idea known as the Credulous Reader. I have varying opinions on the subject. The idea behind the title is that authors (supposedly) sometimes write a type of fiction where they dictate and shape the reader they want, a reader who can only immerse himself in the world of the book. Critics take a very poncy view on this kind of reader, naturally thinking readers should only think critically, and always have an echo of neo-modernism or similar, reverberating through their skulls whenever they open a book. This side of criticism annoys me, I wholly disagree with Roland Barthes' 'the author is dead' baloney. I would say that there are more ways to read books than ever before, and more can be gleaned from the reading of anything than ever before, but never would I say the author as a concept is dead. The authorial meaning is always important, even if it's not concentrated on. Personally I think ignoring author intention can lead you to dangerous over-reading of texts but that's a whole other blog/essay. Basically Mr Barthes, respectfully shhh.
The point of my foray into scholarly bits is that I consider myself both credulous and critical in my readings of books/poems/songs/most of everything. I read Jane Eyre from every possible critical perspective in my second year, and though I can tell you what the text means, I could never really say what it's about. I think the high extent of critical reading I performed (though necessary for the exercise of the module) means I was left with something missing at the end. I now plan on re-reading Ms Bronte's novel in a credulous manner, and Mr Barthes can suck it.
In this way, I think I can easily combine writing novels with lecturing. These are the two things that I cannot possibly leave behind, and despite what some people may think, there is not a yawning gap between scholars and pleasure-readers, there are ways where the two can be brought together. Sometimes there is beauty in a line which means something to you and you alone, rather than meaing something to Marxism, Modernism or anything else.
As a one day author, I naturally hope that my work is picked to pieces for whatever meaning scholars can squeeze from it. On the whole I'll feel clever and this, ultimately leads to happiness. However, if I write and someone writes to me and tells me that they absorbed what I'd written in a day and I'd helped them in someway due to their credulous reading and immersion in my world, then in many ways that's better.
This, however means that I will have to say goodbye to my dreams of literary-agentdom. A recent failed interview told me that I just don't have the passion for the career, and it's true, I have a passion for writing, be it for pleasure, for publication, for blog, for article, for scholar or for all of the above, and that is a life I can lead happily and with all the passion I've carried around with me since my single digits.
Friday, 22 November 2013
Saturday, 24 August 2013
Maybe it's Just Entertainment? or 'David Tries Having a Panic'
Not a big panic, don't worry readers. But I do worry sometimes. I worry that as a writer, the characters I create are going to be misconstrued, cause offence and anger or upset someone.
I am currently writing a book. A book I am extremely proud of and I can say, for the first time in my life, with 100% certainty, that it is completely original. Everything I've written before, maybe not known to me at the time, but looking back, were just copies of other things. I think all us writer types do that. I think even them there published writer types do that. I hark back to the spy stories which were 24 in disguise. The Spy School story which, I'll be honest, was Harry Potter with guns and helicopters. Then there was the fantasy story, which, I now admit was all too close to a cross between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Then, my crowning annoyances, the ideas I had (I don't know about 'had first') but have since been replicated in Doctor Who and The Mortal Instruments. I wrote a book about a group of holy warriors who found demons in the name of a higher purpose, and I had a character who the main character met backwards. Hardly fair really.
In my experience, the most important lesson for any budding author is that you must take the small victories as something huge. You must rejoice when you receive the tiniest line of feedback from any agent, thank the Gods of writing when you manage to whack out 1000 more words than is usual on your average day, and when, on the rare or frequent occasion that curly haired plot twisters (the Moff), or planet-sized-imagination YA Queens (the Clare) write ideas which you may have written yourself, you look at it and realise you have ideas that are getting published and turned into TV shows, you're just not being quick enough, not savvy enough with your cover letters. Also, sometimes, and this is the most annoying thing for a prospective writer: sometimes people have the same ideas at the same time. That's how we got Armageddon and Deep Impact, Bugs Life and Antz, White House Down and the other one.
Which is why I write with trepidation. Has someone got my idea out there? Are they, at this moment writing a book, sitting in a Caffe Nero and dreaming about going on Graham Norton or any one of those booky shows on Sky Arts? I really hope not, because original ideas are difficult to come by these days.
These days, writing a book can be a panic driven experience. Maybe it's just me, but I watch people comment and pass judgement on TV Shows, books and films and worry because I imagine the criticism directed at me. I read an interview with Stephanie Meyer the other day and just thought that however good a writer she may or may not be (and who decides that anyway), maybe she was a woman who wanted to write a story about a girl who fell in love with a vampire. Maybe she did the best she could with the talent she had? Isn't that what we're all supposed to do with our lives? Also, and this is the important part, maybe it's just entertainment.
Which leads me onto my next point. Which again, panics me. A lot of people complain about Doctor Who these days. Every episode that comes out, I scroll through Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Youtube and I see complaint after complaint. 'Moffat's writing's terrible.' 'He'll never be as good as Russell T. Davies' and the big one. 'He's a sexist'.
Here's my fear. I've read Divergent. Apologies for people who don't get the reference, but in the book (read it, it's amazing), the main characters are subjected to a simulation known as a 'fear landscape'. In the fear landscape you are asked to confront your greatest fears, each initiate having a different number and ability to cope with them. I always think what would be in mine and so far I have the following:
I am currently writing a book. A book I am extremely proud of and I can say, for the first time in my life, with 100% certainty, that it is completely original. Everything I've written before, maybe not known to me at the time, but looking back, were just copies of other things. I think all us writer types do that. I think even them there published writer types do that. I hark back to the spy stories which were 24 in disguise. The Spy School story which, I'll be honest, was Harry Potter with guns and helicopters. Then there was the fantasy story, which, I now admit was all too close to a cross between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Then, my crowning annoyances, the ideas I had (I don't know about 'had first') but have since been replicated in Doctor Who and The Mortal Instruments. I wrote a book about a group of holy warriors who found demons in the name of a higher purpose, and I had a character who the main character met backwards. Hardly fair really.
In my experience, the most important lesson for any budding author is that you must take the small victories as something huge. You must rejoice when you receive the tiniest line of feedback from any agent, thank the Gods of writing when you manage to whack out 1000 more words than is usual on your average day, and when, on the rare or frequent occasion that curly haired plot twisters (the Moff), or planet-sized-imagination YA Queens (the Clare) write ideas which you may have written yourself, you look at it and realise you have ideas that are getting published and turned into TV shows, you're just not being quick enough, not savvy enough with your cover letters. Also, sometimes, and this is the most annoying thing for a prospective writer: sometimes people have the same ideas at the same time. That's how we got Armageddon and Deep Impact, Bugs Life and Antz, White House Down and the other one.
Which is why I write with trepidation. Has someone got my idea out there? Are they, at this moment writing a book, sitting in a Caffe Nero and dreaming about going on Graham Norton or any one of those booky shows on Sky Arts? I really hope not, because original ideas are difficult to come by these days.
These days, writing a book can be a panic driven experience. Maybe it's just me, but I watch people comment and pass judgement on TV Shows, books and films and worry because I imagine the criticism directed at me. I read an interview with Stephanie Meyer the other day and just thought that however good a writer she may or may not be (and who decides that anyway), maybe she was a woman who wanted to write a story about a girl who fell in love with a vampire. Maybe she did the best she could with the talent she had? Isn't that what we're all supposed to do with our lives? Also, and this is the important part, maybe it's just entertainment.
Which leads me onto my next point. Which again, panics me. A lot of people complain about Doctor Who these days. Every episode that comes out, I scroll through Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Youtube and I see complaint after complaint. 'Moffat's writing's terrible.' 'He'll never be as good as Russell T. Davies' and the big one. 'He's a sexist'.
Here's my fear. I've read Divergent. Apologies for people who don't get the reference, but in the book (read it, it's amazing), the main characters are subjected to a simulation known as a 'fear landscape'. In the fear landscape you are asked to confront your greatest fears, each initiate having a different number and ability to cope with them. I always think what would be in mine and so far I have the following:
- moths and other such creatures that fly in your face.
- being eaten alive.
- things like Alien or parasites that burrow inside you.
- being shouted at/in trouble.
- people not trusting me/thinking I'm inept.
- being called sexist/racist/homophobic, or indeed any of the 'ists' or 'phobes'.
I try, each and every day, to think fairly and give things chances, not moan when I could, be patient with people and most importantly, not offend people. I hate offending people. The reason I am writing my current WIP (work in progress for people not up on the lingo like wot I is), is I want to promote fairness and freedoms. Without saying too much, I am doing it in such a way which (to the casual reader, or the reader who won't read to the end), may well cause offence. I can deal with these criticisms because I can easily say 'go read the book, cover to cover and see if you have the same issue'. What does worry me is being called a sexist.
I think about this a lot these days, mainly because I think Steven Moffat is the victim of a lot of unjust overreading. Who must be the most overanalysed piece of entertainment in history. I've heard things like 'I prefer the old companions, where the Doctor travelled with a normal person who was wonderful, now Amy and Clara have mysteries surrounding them, they need the Doctor because there's something wrong with them. Since Moffat wrote the show, the problem has become woman'.
While on some level I can see how this makes sense, I also worry that Moffat just tried to write something that was new and entertaining i.e., not write the same storylines as had been done with all the previous assistants. Write the show with a new and fresh impetus and put his own stamp on things, not carbon copy Russell T. Davies' Who universe. This is what writers do and always will do. Call me a male chauvinist pig, but I look at Moffat's episodes as woman empowering. I always see Amy and Clara saving the day, especially at the close of the episodes. Who saved the Doctor's life every day for a thousand years? A woman: Clara? What is that if not pro-feminist? Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, but that's the way I see things. There's so many levels to any argument and especially with this argument I do end up thinking - 'is there the tiniest possibility that you're reading into this too much?' In any case, I wish it would stop, because it does scare me, and I'd be willing to bet that, just like me, a lot of these people who are complained about and even hated on all over the internet, did not mean to cause the slightest bit of harm, and actually thought they were writing something entertaining, empowering, powerful and poignant.
Whether the writing of Doctor Who is sexist or not, I don't want to be this. I don't want to inadvertently offend half the planet. I want to be Joss Whedon. A man who writes incredibly strong, awesome female characters and recognised for it. John Green is the same. Which is why I aspire to be like them. But then you have the no. 1 enemy of every writer. A single terrifying line: 'What if I can't?'
I think the biggest thing a prospective author has to learn is to believe that you can. That other people have done so in the past, so you'll be one who continues to in the future. When my book is on the shelves, I shall direct people to this blog post. To say that whatever the outcome, I tried to write a book that was fair, equal and championed all the best things on our planet. Love, fairness, equality and fighting against the worst kind of adversities. I tried to create a message, not a world, where any man, woman, child; whatever sex, religion, sexuality or nationality can read marks on a piece of paper and find something that makes their personal struggle a little easier.
That's my dream.
In the words of Mr Jones, in the immortal words emblazoned in large, friendly letters on the cover of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
Don't panic.
Saturday, 20 July 2013
Project Distinction or 'David Tries Being A Postgraduate'
A quick updatey blog today!
Well, it's been a while Blogger, but I'm here to stay, and I'm going to launch straight into this. I now know that to be a writer, you have to write, so write I shall. Seeing my work up for everyone who's interested to read for The Hollywood News has been a dream come true for me, and now I want more, so to do that you need practise. So I've organised myself, I currently have 2 novels in the works and I shall conduct an experiment; it shall go thus:
Well, it's been a while Blogger, but I'm here to stay, and I'm going to launch straight into this. I now know that to be a writer, you have to write, so write I shall. Seeing my work up for everyone who's interested to read for The Hollywood News has been a dream come true for me, and now I want more, so to do that you need practise. So I've organised myself, I currently have 2 novels in the works and I shall conduct an experiment; it shall go thus:
- Book number 1 will be written as though I'm aiming for the final draft, writing as well as I can the first time so as to minimise editing time at the end.
- Book number 2 will be written following the likes of Veronica Roth and John Green. I'm going to get the plot down on paper, in say 40 pages single line spaced, and then work at adding scenes and rewriting the parts I want to be the best.
In this way I'll have two novels to send off to agents. I also have ideas I'm very excited about for a 4-part series in the future. To do this I've downloaded the 'A Novel Idea' app for my assorted IOS devices. I advise doing so, it organises your writers brain.
I am also very pleased to announce that two days ago, I graduated with a 2:1 in English from St Mary's University College. I am also even more pleased to announce that I have an unconditional place to begin studying an MA in Children's Literature at Roehampton University from September. And so I launch 'Project Distinction'. I think 2:1 was fair for my 3 year's work, but achieving that has pushed me to do one better, and be the best I can be. I love writing in any way shape or form, and that includes essays. And I know I can be better.
I think graduating with all my friends at Westminster Cathedral (posh, I know) and then enjoying the sun and drinks with them afterwards was one of the top highlights of my life so far. It's something I discover about myself, I experience, I like, I want more. Walking out with my mortarboard and gown and degree trailing behind the Doctors and the Master's students I know I want to do that again, I look forward to writing a blog November next year having graduated with a Master's, and aiming for a PhD. I am excited for life, and I'm doing what I've always dreamed of doing.
I will be a writer, I am a writer.
Thursday, 28 March 2013
An Ode to Earl Grey or 'David Tries Being a Published Writer'
As of 12 o'clock today, 28th March 2013, I can call myself a published writer. My first ever published piece of work, a film review of the Frenchiest of French films 'In the House' or 'Dans La Maison' for the more European among us, can be read here on the movie website 'The Hollywood News' which I now write for. http://www.thehollywoodnews.com/2013/03/28/in-the-house-review/
I apologise as I didn't talk about my trip to the screening, in a very plush little cinema near Charlotte Street in London. This very much constituted my criteria as a 'new thing' I tried, and it was my greatest success to date. After obtaining the email address of the editor of The Hollywood News from Matt Dennis, my friend and another writer for the website (further cementing the mantra of 'it's who you know') I wrote a sample piece and soon found myself invited to the screening. On arriving, slightly nervous and donning an embarrassingly large bag of uni books, the mini library I find myself carting round in this final semester, I was greeted by a cheery lady who ticked my name on a guestlist and invited me to enjoy a beer, a glass of wine and some posh crisps. Naturally being the discerning gentleman I am I chose the beer and commenced to enjoy the delights of being a VIP.
On entering the screening, past a heavy metal door which wouldn't have looked out of place at NASA I soon found myself enjoying the piece of high culture Film Festival beating movie which you can read about above. I found the whole experience one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done and the very fact that people do this for a living and get paid set in me the very same feeling I had when I was 9 and I read Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz and decided I wanted to write books. Yes it's difficult to make notes in a dark film theatre but I loved it, and I want to return next time dressed slightly better and not carrying my library with me. I have the attitude to things like getting into writing that 'if others can do it, so can I.'
I think it's an important point for any writer to learn early is that no writer merely writes in one style, in one means, and in particular, no writer writes occasionally. For example, no one just writes books. I'd dare anyone to find me an author these days who doesn't write articles, or keep a blog, or write poems on the side. It's just something you have to do to keep your hand in, and it's taken me quite a while to fully realise that. And it's good, because lets face it, writing's boring.
Shock horror I hear you say, but it is, if you just sit writing one thing forever you'll always get bored with it, same as if you watch 3 films for the rest of your life. There is nothing better than the thrill of completion and it's very hard to complete a novel, so why not aim smaller, there are so many freelance and free writing opportunities out there that people would be silly to pass them up.
And go do a degree! My god go do a degree. If you like to write go study English or Creative Writing or anything heavily essay based, or if your talents and interests lie in video production or similar, go study media or Film. These degrees, from a writing perspective do what all the little pieces of writing do, you keep your hand in. Yes you just wrote an essay on the Postmodern Condition in Kurt Vonnegut, or whether or not Kanzi the monkey can talk. Yes you'll never read them again, but you wrote it. You wrote it and got a good mark for it and it's almost the same as being published. It's that validation which says 'see those words you just wrote on that bit of paper? They're damn good, I'd like to see more of your words on bits of paper.' And for god's sake if you want to write read. Read lots, read anything. Read newspapers (The Times has really good writing in it) read magazines, read poems written on the inside of tube trains. And read books. Read every book you can get your hands on and if you do all that, look back on the things you wrote a year ago and you'll shock yourself with how bad you used to be and how good you are now.
So keep a blog, write poems, do a degree and just write. And talk about writing. The mantra of 'it's who you know' exists for a reason. For a calling in life which is quite solitary, through wonderful places like Twitter and Tumblr and creative commons websites like Ideastap and Figment, you can network with other writers and before you know it you can say 'it's who you know' in a disgruntled tone and then realise you know someone who could help. And then ask for help, because on the whole people are lovely and want to help. That's what I did and I'm not saying I've arrived because that'd be near sighted of me. But I have something I wrote, published on a website for the world to see. And one day I hope a lot more people read these too, because I write for people. My aim is for lots.
And do you want to know the real secret to success in writing and university? Earl Grey tea. The stuff's better than crack I swear.
I apologise as I didn't talk about my trip to the screening, in a very plush little cinema near Charlotte Street in London. This very much constituted my criteria as a 'new thing' I tried, and it was my greatest success to date. After obtaining the email address of the editor of The Hollywood News from Matt Dennis, my friend and another writer for the website (further cementing the mantra of 'it's who you know') I wrote a sample piece and soon found myself invited to the screening. On arriving, slightly nervous and donning an embarrassingly large bag of uni books, the mini library I find myself carting round in this final semester, I was greeted by a cheery lady who ticked my name on a guestlist and invited me to enjoy a beer, a glass of wine and some posh crisps. Naturally being the discerning gentleman I am I chose the beer and commenced to enjoy the delights of being a VIP.
On entering the screening, past a heavy metal door which wouldn't have looked out of place at NASA I soon found myself enjoying the piece of high culture Film Festival beating movie which you can read about above. I found the whole experience one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done and the very fact that people do this for a living and get paid set in me the very same feeling I had when I was 9 and I read Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz and decided I wanted to write books. Yes it's difficult to make notes in a dark film theatre but I loved it, and I want to return next time dressed slightly better and not carrying my library with me. I have the attitude to things like getting into writing that 'if others can do it, so can I.'
I think it's an important point for any writer to learn early is that no writer merely writes in one style, in one means, and in particular, no writer writes occasionally. For example, no one just writes books. I'd dare anyone to find me an author these days who doesn't write articles, or keep a blog, or write poems on the side. It's just something you have to do to keep your hand in, and it's taken me quite a while to fully realise that. And it's good, because lets face it, writing's boring.
Shock horror I hear you say, but it is, if you just sit writing one thing forever you'll always get bored with it, same as if you watch 3 films for the rest of your life. There is nothing better than the thrill of completion and it's very hard to complete a novel, so why not aim smaller, there are so many freelance and free writing opportunities out there that people would be silly to pass them up.
And go do a degree! My god go do a degree. If you like to write go study English or Creative Writing or anything heavily essay based, or if your talents and interests lie in video production or similar, go study media or Film. These degrees, from a writing perspective do what all the little pieces of writing do, you keep your hand in. Yes you just wrote an essay on the Postmodern Condition in Kurt Vonnegut, or whether or not Kanzi the monkey can talk. Yes you'll never read them again, but you wrote it. You wrote it and got a good mark for it and it's almost the same as being published. It's that validation which says 'see those words you just wrote on that bit of paper? They're damn good, I'd like to see more of your words on bits of paper.' And for god's sake if you want to write read. Read lots, read anything. Read newspapers (The Times has really good writing in it) read magazines, read poems written on the inside of tube trains. And read books. Read every book you can get your hands on and if you do all that, look back on the things you wrote a year ago and you'll shock yourself with how bad you used to be and how good you are now.
So keep a blog, write poems, do a degree and just write. And talk about writing. The mantra of 'it's who you know' exists for a reason. For a calling in life which is quite solitary, through wonderful places like Twitter and Tumblr and creative commons websites like Ideastap and Figment, you can network with other writers and before you know it you can say 'it's who you know' in a disgruntled tone and then realise you know someone who could help. And then ask for help, because on the whole people are lovely and want to help. That's what I did and I'm not saying I've arrived because that'd be near sighted of me. But I have something I wrote, published on a website for the world to see. And one day I hope a lot more people read these too, because I write for people. My aim is for lots.
And do you want to know the real secret to success in writing and university? Earl Grey tea. The stuff's better than crack I swear.
Thursday, 7 March 2013
Moneygrabbing Bastards! or 'David Tries Being Annoyed'
Moneygrabbing bastards!
Is a phrase I'd rather escaped my lips a lot less, but sometimes you can't help it. In the Times only this morning for example, I started to think about writing this blog, and then suddenly on page three (for in The Times, there is journalistic material on page three instead of Rhian's huge chesticles accompanied by a speech bubble containing Rhian's opinions on the middle east) ...I digress. On page three of The Times there were two examples of moneygrabbing.
First of all the Sherlock Holmes museum. Recently, the owner of the museum died, and its assets were to be divided between two people who worked there. The owner of the museum had trusted both of them and all of his staff and not run the museum as tightly and efficiently (in a financial sense) as they probably should have. But it doesn't matter right? Friends would never screw each other out of money. But low and behold, as the will gets examined, it turns out one of the two staff members had embezzled hundreds of thousands of pounds of profit from the little museum on 221B Baker Street. This saddened me more than anything.
Then directly under this heartwarming story lay a piece about how David Cameron's home constituency of Witney couldn't afford him to turn on their Christmas lights last year. They couldn't afford him because his security costs too much. If only we lived in a world where political figures aren't fatally targeted by a completely different sort of bastard, but unfortunately we do. Nevertheless, the security charge so much.
And who can blame them really? We have to get by in these troubled times - is a favourite phrase of television types nowadays. And I know, I'm one of those studenty people. The people of Pot Noodles and Sainsbury's basics. And that's what lead me to this tale of pennies and woe. I'm realising that this isn't the cheeriest of topics. However I aim to meet the needs of readers and I'm willing to bet only a small portion of readers in general don't think about problems like these on a regular basis.
The good people of student finance give me £2000 a semester, which is more than most people get I grant you, but I live in Richmond, the most expensive borough in the country. And I don't even live there all the time now. I'm forced to now trek home to north London after lectures every Thursday to save a bit of money. Or go to my girlfriend's house, which makes me very happy. But I live in 3 places. I'm constantly in a state of inbetweenness, my belongings scattered rather haphazardly across south-east England. I don't enjoy this feeling. I'm a person who likes everything in one place, tidy in a room so I can relax and do the large amount of work I have to do. I never get down about this because I appreciate what I have more than I can describe. A wonderful girlfriend with a wonderful family who accepts me. I write this sitting in their living room while Charlotte's at work. I've allowed myself a break because I wrote 2000 words of dissertation this morning! 4800 to go! And 1000 of my personal study yesterday. And my first two essays for this semester are done. I am exactly halfway through my last semester and this both scares and satisfies me.
I am decided now. I absolutely love uni, I love what I study and all my friends. But the best thing about brilliant friends and studying a masters in Children's Literature next year is I get to keep both those things despite the fact my degree is coming to an end. I want money, I want to be someone who can support himself and others. I want all my stuff in one place and I want to be able to get a chinese without bankrupting myself.
Which brings me back to my monetary requirements. Living in the most expensive borough in the country, I have to pay 4 rents a time out of this £2000 the government kindly lends me. That leaves me with £400. £400 for four months of living. Lets take bills out of that, that's another £100+ gone. So £300. Hold on I do English. I have a vast amount of books to buy because all libraries have become as money grabbing as the rest of the world. Places like Senate House - which holds every book I need - charges non University of London students £193 a year for membership. And you can't even go search among the books yourself! These books should be public domain, they should belong to each and every person in the country free of charge. That, is it not, the point of a library? But no, more money.
Ebooks! I hear you say! I say find me an ebook on the internet that doesn't have pages missing, asking you for a charge to buy the whole thing. I wish I wasn't so annoyed about this. I wish I wasn't using my blog meant to spread happiness to vent, but worry not. I'm getting to the positive bit. This is the most therapeutic thing I do. I'm so much better at articulating myself with my words. That's why I am certain I will make some sort of career with my writing. Determination isn't the word. With the right support and belief, I can do anything.
Basically the government wants me to get a job. I understand this, but I see injustice in that. The degree isn't enough these days. So many people come out of uni and can't use their degrees to get what they want. I don't see the fairness in asking a student such as me and thousands of others to write long extended pieces of work, putting their whole effort into them, and work as well. People say it prepares you for the real world, but I don't see people out of uni having to do uni work on top of jobs. But I don't mind, because that's the way of the world. You have to do things you don't like sometimes. But getting a job? Saying 'I do a degree' (in my experience) to an employer, is like saying 'please don't hire me I'm putting something else first.' But I'll carry on trying, and trying and trying until I either get something part time, or I get a proper job after my degree, which I'm now doing as well. What I hate most of all is when people act like I don't try, that I'm not doing everything in my power to do all this.
In my personal opinion, the government spends vast amounts of money on pointless things - I'm reminded of a story saying the government spend £300,000 a year on tea and biscuits for NHS staff and visitors. Now these people work hard, they need to be fed and kept happy, but a part of me screams injustice. Especially when I hear stories of my loved ones going to these people and being bounced around departments because no one can do their job properly. Maybe put down the Jammie Dodger and open Gray's Anatomy? (That's right, I watch Grey's Anatomy, and I love wordplay) And I ask maybe if more thought was put into government spending by these moneygrabbing bastards sitting at the top of the pyramid, maybe this country's money could be more evenly distributed.
Back to money. I want to do pleasurable things! I find myself under a lot of pressure because of all this on a regular basis. And lets mention for a second my 4 month struggle with Richmond council. Where I had to tell them again and again, giving bit after bit of proof to prove that me and my housemates are exempt from council tax. Every answer made them give me another demand. They were determined to charge someone for council tax. They're determined to squeeze someone for a few pennies. That is hopefully over now so one less stress.
And I want money to do nice things. I want books and DVDs and music and go nice places with my girlfriend, and sit and drink earl grey tea eating crisps with my friends and go to the pub with them. But I haven't got the money to do that. I'm studying Bob Dylan at the moment and I need his albums. But how much are they? £8.99 each some of them! I can't afford that! And that's a whole other story, why is music so expensive? Why are gigs so expensive? Why are Kindle books, which have no production value whatsoever, the same price as print books? Do they want me to illegally download? I quite like the fact that I buy all my music. I like to give people money when they make something that I like and want in my life, but when they start charging the earth for 12 songs I start wondering do I owe them that? I wonder where all this money goes. The pessimist in me says 'someone's pocket.'
Now, this blog has been depressing, and I apologise sincerely, but I hope at the very least if you are in a similar position to me I've helped you in the way that you're not alone. But I'm reached the good bit.
People are good, people are funny and lovely and free. I'm not saying throw off the shackles of materialism, because Shakeaway's also lovely and nice, but Shakeaways are expensive. So when this all gets to me I think of all the lovely things I experience because of people. My lovely friends, my lovely family and my lovely girlfriend. I am supported and I have a smile on my face despite all this monetary strife. I don't treat anyone badly and the good times are coming. The good times are already here. Just know (and I know some people are far worse off than me) but just know that one day you'll be able to walk into a Shakeaway and buy a 'Steve' or a 'Rupert' or a 'Clive' and reap the benefits of your hard work, of the uni work you do, or the non-uni work, the hard work out there in the world. There are always good things which balance out all the crap.
I'm thinking of starting to write down all the little nice things that happen to me and putting them in a jar and then every now and again upending the jar and let the smiles arrive.
The morals of this blog:
1) Work during your gap year
2) Do not under any circumstances read newspapers. They have the news and you look jolly-well intelligent but they are the nation's doombringer. Buy an OK magazine, buy the Sun and find out what Rhian's said today and watch the X Factor. Sit with someone you love or like a bloomin great deal and watch a film or go out and have a nice walk somewhere. Sit by yourself and write a blog or a poem or a novel or a screenplay or a list of some nice things. Listen to your favourite song. Do whatever makes you happy. Don't let the moneygrabbing bastards get you down.
Good luck.
Is a phrase I'd rather escaped my lips a lot less, but sometimes you can't help it. In the Times only this morning for example, I started to think about writing this blog, and then suddenly on page three (for in The Times, there is journalistic material on page three instead of Rhian's huge chesticles accompanied by a speech bubble containing Rhian's opinions on the middle east) ...I digress. On page three of The Times there were two examples of moneygrabbing.
First of all the Sherlock Holmes museum. Recently, the owner of the museum died, and its assets were to be divided between two people who worked there. The owner of the museum had trusted both of them and all of his staff and not run the museum as tightly and efficiently (in a financial sense) as they probably should have. But it doesn't matter right? Friends would never screw each other out of money. But low and behold, as the will gets examined, it turns out one of the two staff members had embezzled hundreds of thousands of pounds of profit from the little museum on 221B Baker Street. This saddened me more than anything.
Then directly under this heartwarming story lay a piece about how David Cameron's home constituency of Witney couldn't afford him to turn on their Christmas lights last year. They couldn't afford him because his security costs too much. If only we lived in a world where political figures aren't fatally targeted by a completely different sort of bastard, but unfortunately we do. Nevertheless, the security charge so much.
And who can blame them really? We have to get by in these troubled times - is a favourite phrase of television types nowadays. And I know, I'm one of those studenty people. The people of Pot Noodles and Sainsbury's basics. And that's what lead me to this tale of pennies and woe. I'm realising that this isn't the cheeriest of topics. However I aim to meet the needs of readers and I'm willing to bet only a small portion of readers in general don't think about problems like these on a regular basis.
The good people of student finance give me £2000 a semester, which is more than most people get I grant you, but I live in Richmond, the most expensive borough in the country. And I don't even live there all the time now. I'm forced to now trek home to north London after lectures every Thursday to save a bit of money. Or go to my girlfriend's house, which makes me very happy. But I live in 3 places. I'm constantly in a state of inbetweenness, my belongings scattered rather haphazardly across south-east England. I don't enjoy this feeling. I'm a person who likes everything in one place, tidy in a room so I can relax and do the large amount of work I have to do. I never get down about this because I appreciate what I have more than I can describe. A wonderful girlfriend with a wonderful family who accepts me. I write this sitting in their living room while Charlotte's at work. I've allowed myself a break because I wrote 2000 words of dissertation this morning! 4800 to go! And 1000 of my personal study yesterday. And my first two essays for this semester are done. I am exactly halfway through my last semester and this both scares and satisfies me.
I am decided now. I absolutely love uni, I love what I study and all my friends. But the best thing about brilliant friends and studying a masters in Children's Literature next year is I get to keep both those things despite the fact my degree is coming to an end. I want money, I want to be someone who can support himself and others. I want all my stuff in one place and I want to be able to get a chinese without bankrupting myself.
Which brings me back to my monetary requirements. Living in the most expensive borough in the country, I have to pay 4 rents a time out of this £2000 the government kindly lends me. That leaves me with £400. £400 for four months of living. Lets take bills out of that, that's another £100+ gone. So £300. Hold on I do English. I have a vast amount of books to buy because all libraries have become as money grabbing as the rest of the world. Places like Senate House - which holds every book I need - charges non University of London students £193 a year for membership. And you can't even go search among the books yourself! These books should be public domain, they should belong to each and every person in the country free of charge. That, is it not, the point of a library? But no, more money.
Ebooks! I hear you say! I say find me an ebook on the internet that doesn't have pages missing, asking you for a charge to buy the whole thing. I wish I wasn't so annoyed about this. I wish I wasn't using my blog meant to spread happiness to vent, but worry not. I'm getting to the positive bit. This is the most therapeutic thing I do. I'm so much better at articulating myself with my words. That's why I am certain I will make some sort of career with my writing. Determination isn't the word. With the right support and belief, I can do anything.
Basically the government wants me to get a job. I understand this, but I see injustice in that. The degree isn't enough these days. So many people come out of uni and can't use their degrees to get what they want. I don't see the fairness in asking a student such as me and thousands of others to write long extended pieces of work, putting their whole effort into them, and work as well. People say it prepares you for the real world, but I don't see people out of uni having to do uni work on top of jobs. But I don't mind, because that's the way of the world. You have to do things you don't like sometimes. But getting a job? Saying 'I do a degree' (in my experience) to an employer, is like saying 'please don't hire me I'm putting something else first.' But I'll carry on trying, and trying and trying until I either get something part time, or I get a proper job after my degree, which I'm now doing as well. What I hate most of all is when people act like I don't try, that I'm not doing everything in my power to do all this.
In my personal opinion, the government spends vast amounts of money on pointless things - I'm reminded of a story saying the government spend £300,000 a year on tea and biscuits for NHS staff and visitors. Now these people work hard, they need to be fed and kept happy, but a part of me screams injustice. Especially when I hear stories of my loved ones going to these people and being bounced around departments because no one can do their job properly. Maybe put down the Jammie Dodger and open Gray's Anatomy? (That's right, I watch Grey's Anatomy, and I love wordplay) And I ask maybe if more thought was put into government spending by these moneygrabbing bastards sitting at the top of the pyramid, maybe this country's money could be more evenly distributed.
Back to money. I want to do pleasurable things! I find myself under a lot of pressure because of all this on a regular basis. And lets mention for a second my 4 month struggle with Richmond council. Where I had to tell them again and again, giving bit after bit of proof to prove that me and my housemates are exempt from council tax. Every answer made them give me another demand. They were determined to charge someone for council tax. They're determined to squeeze someone for a few pennies. That is hopefully over now so one less stress.
And I want money to do nice things. I want books and DVDs and music and go nice places with my girlfriend, and sit and drink earl grey tea eating crisps with my friends and go to the pub with them. But I haven't got the money to do that. I'm studying Bob Dylan at the moment and I need his albums. But how much are they? £8.99 each some of them! I can't afford that! And that's a whole other story, why is music so expensive? Why are gigs so expensive? Why are Kindle books, which have no production value whatsoever, the same price as print books? Do they want me to illegally download? I quite like the fact that I buy all my music. I like to give people money when they make something that I like and want in my life, but when they start charging the earth for 12 songs I start wondering do I owe them that? I wonder where all this money goes. The pessimist in me says 'someone's pocket.'
Now, this blog has been depressing, and I apologise sincerely, but I hope at the very least if you are in a similar position to me I've helped you in the way that you're not alone. But I'm reached the good bit.
People are good, people are funny and lovely and free. I'm not saying throw off the shackles of materialism, because Shakeaway's also lovely and nice, but Shakeaways are expensive. So when this all gets to me I think of all the lovely things I experience because of people. My lovely friends, my lovely family and my lovely girlfriend. I am supported and I have a smile on my face despite all this monetary strife. I don't treat anyone badly and the good times are coming. The good times are already here. Just know (and I know some people are far worse off than me) but just know that one day you'll be able to walk into a Shakeaway and buy a 'Steve' or a 'Rupert' or a 'Clive' and reap the benefits of your hard work, of the uni work you do, or the non-uni work, the hard work out there in the world. There are always good things which balance out all the crap.
I'm thinking of starting to write down all the little nice things that happen to me and putting them in a jar and then every now and again upending the jar and let the smiles arrive.
The morals of this blog:
1) Work during your gap year
2) Do not under any circumstances read newspapers. They have the news and you look jolly-well intelligent but they are the nation's doombringer. Buy an OK magazine, buy the Sun and find out what Rhian's said today and watch the X Factor. Sit with someone you love or like a bloomin great deal and watch a film or go out and have a nice walk somewhere. Sit by yourself and write a blog or a poem or a novel or a screenplay or a list of some nice things. Listen to your favourite song. Do whatever makes you happy. Don't let the moneygrabbing bastards get you down.
Good luck.
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
Stately Plump Buck Mulligan... or 'David Tries Relaxing'
I have had two things stuck in my head all day. Firstly the words 'Stately plump Buck Mulligan.' This is the opening few words from Ulysses, a novel by James Joyce a topic which has featured in a previous blog. It is without a doubt the best book I have ever read, and I hate it.
This might confuse some readers, in my head the terms 'best' and 'my favourite' don't usually constitute the same set of books/films/music etc. I think the Godfather's amazing, I love watching it and I could write a considerably long essay about how I think it's the best film I've ever seen. It doesn't come anywhere near my top five though. It just doesn't have the rewatchability of Die Hard or Sleepless in Seattle for me. (Also through that statement you can see my strange range of film tastes)
Ulysses is the book form of the Godfather for me, quite long, quite complicated and brilliant. It took James Joyce 20 years to write and it is taking up most of my time to read. It amazes me how a man can write a 900 page book where every single sentence means something. There is nothing incidental, nothing pointless in this book. And it is amazing.
It is driving me insane.
I mean pretentious much? Needless to say I will not be revisiting this book like I've revisited Harry Potter. No Harry Potter probably doesn't have as much 'literary value' but to hell with literary value I like being relaxed and Ulysses does not do that for me. To read something so confusing and so heavy (in terms of what is in it and just general grams) is really taking it out of me, and I look forward to Christmas so I can say goodbye to it. I can confine it to my shelf and look at it occasionally thinking 'yeah, I read that' and feel jolly well proud of myself.
But I don't think it'll end there. I have a feeling this book won't leave me. Like the Odyssey (the book which it is set around) which I have studied at GCSE, A-Level, and now apparently university level. As my friend Ryan said to me earlier, it's come back to haunt me in Modernist form. Worryingly I not only think that it won't leave me, but that I won't want to leave it. I love finding stuff out and learning things and here is a book that no one has ever found everything from. No one likes it, no one would take the fucking thing on holiday, but people read it, people have talked about it and taken it to pieces for exactly 90 years. I think if I ever get into lecturing, as is one of my dreams, I will be teaching a module on the bloody thing. Because I think it's important to literature, I just can't bloody stand it.
Most things I come across nowadays, I quietly think to myself 'this requires study'. I moan about it like no one else, but I love studying literature. I am in the process of applying for an MA in children's literature. I'm loving my dissertation and I'm taking on another personal study next semester. Which brings me to the second thing which has been stuck in my head all day. The Oasis lyric 'if there's a God won't he give another chancer, an hour to sing for his soul.'
If Ulysses has been contested for 90 years, nothing has been contested like God. I don't know what I think about religion. I won't say anything for or against it because I want to study it. I find modernism almost forces me to think about these things, doing an essay on Nietzsche and statements like 'God is dead' is what should be held accountable for this blog. I find it so interesting and I do believe in something afterwards. I can't get my head around the fact that I'll stop being me. However this blind belief in some form of afterlife does not necessarily support a belief in the almighty. I don't like organised religion, personally I don't like how you have to pick one (for the time it takes up). Why are there so many? Why does there have to be a right one? Are any of them right? I don't know, so I'll be looking into that. My lecturers; scholars and logical minds, go to church and believe. I like to know people's beliefs, I like to know why, so I'll look into it. I don't like being told what to believe, by either side, I like to make my own decisions, so one day I'll take a look at that.
Human beings seem to have a habit of writing on things and people looking at these things a thousand years later and thinking they must have significance. This may have been what happened with the guy who thought up religion on a cave wall or the side of a pyramid. And this may have happened with Ulysses. I would love to have a time machine, visit James Joyce and discover that Ulysses is actually a 900 page book about a man farting, pooing, picking his nose and masturbating his way through a day, eating kidneys, going to funerals and nothing else. And all the literary references and everything else that has been picked apart from it is purely incidental. Until then however...
Stately plump Buck Mulligan...for fuck's sake.
It is because of these thoughts that Ulysses has given me, and doing essays on things like 'God is dead' and an endless stream of modernism travelling my way, I joined a snooker club. It's free for students and it relaxes me. I think it's the clack of the balls? Probably weird but hey, I'm a weird guy. So if you'd like to join me for a game and a chat about Nietzsche or James Joyce, find me at assorted Riley's snooker clubs drinking Guinness and having a lovely relax.
This might confuse some readers, in my head the terms 'best' and 'my favourite' don't usually constitute the same set of books/films/music etc. I think the Godfather's amazing, I love watching it and I could write a considerably long essay about how I think it's the best film I've ever seen. It doesn't come anywhere near my top five though. It just doesn't have the rewatchability of Die Hard or Sleepless in Seattle for me. (Also through that statement you can see my strange range of film tastes)
Ulysses is the book form of the Godfather for me, quite long, quite complicated and brilliant. It took James Joyce 20 years to write and it is taking up most of my time to read. It amazes me how a man can write a 900 page book where every single sentence means something. There is nothing incidental, nothing pointless in this book. And it is amazing.
It is driving me insane.
I mean pretentious much? Needless to say I will not be revisiting this book like I've revisited Harry Potter. No Harry Potter probably doesn't have as much 'literary value' but to hell with literary value I like being relaxed and Ulysses does not do that for me. To read something so confusing and so heavy (in terms of what is in it and just general grams) is really taking it out of me, and I look forward to Christmas so I can say goodbye to it. I can confine it to my shelf and look at it occasionally thinking 'yeah, I read that' and feel jolly well proud of myself.
But I don't think it'll end there. I have a feeling this book won't leave me. Like the Odyssey (the book which it is set around) which I have studied at GCSE, A-Level, and now apparently university level. As my friend Ryan said to me earlier, it's come back to haunt me in Modernist form. Worryingly I not only think that it won't leave me, but that I won't want to leave it. I love finding stuff out and learning things and here is a book that no one has ever found everything from. No one likes it, no one would take the fucking thing on holiday, but people read it, people have talked about it and taken it to pieces for exactly 90 years. I think if I ever get into lecturing, as is one of my dreams, I will be teaching a module on the bloody thing. Because I think it's important to literature, I just can't bloody stand it.
Most things I come across nowadays, I quietly think to myself 'this requires study'. I moan about it like no one else, but I love studying literature. I am in the process of applying for an MA in children's literature. I'm loving my dissertation and I'm taking on another personal study next semester. Which brings me to the second thing which has been stuck in my head all day. The Oasis lyric 'if there's a God won't he give another chancer, an hour to sing for his soul.'
If Ulysses has been contested for 90 years, nothing has been contested like God. I don't know what I think about religion. I won't say anything for or against it because I want to study it. I find modernism almost forces me to think about these things, doing an essay on Nietzsche and statements like 'God is dead' is what should be held accountable for this blog. I find it so interesting and I do believe in something afterwards. I can't get my head around the fact that I'll stop being me. However this blind belief in some form of afterlife does not necessarily support a belief in the almighty. I don't like organised religion, personally I don't like how you have to pick one (for the time it takes up). Why are there so many? Why does there have to be a right one? Are any of them right? I don't know, so I'll be looking into that. My lecturers; scholars and logical minds, go to church and believe. I like to know people's beliefs, I like to know why, so I'll look into it. I don't like being told what to believe, by either side, I like to make my own decisions, so one day I'll take a look at that.
Human beings seem to have a habit of writing on things and people looking at these things a thousand years later and thinking they must have significance. This may have been what happened with the guy who thought up religion on a cave wall or the side of a pyramid. And this may have happened with Ulysses. I would love to have a time machine, visit James Joyce and discover that Ulysses is actually a 900 page book about a man farting, pooing, picking his nose and masturbating his way through a day, eating kidneys, going to funerals and nothing else. And all the literary references and everything else that has been picked apart from it is purely incidental. Until then however...
Stately plump Buck Mulligan...for fuck's sake.
It is because of these thoughts that Ulysses has given me, and doing essays on things like 'God is dead' and an endless stream of modernism travelling my way, I joined a snooker club. It's free for students and it relaxes me. I think it's the clack of the balls? Probably weird but hey, I'm a weird guy. So if you'd like to join me for a game and a chat about Nietzsche or James Joyce, find me at assorted Riley's snooker clubs drinking Guinness and having a lovely relax.
Sunday, 28 October 2012
Sex and the City in No Way Influenced This Post or 'David Tries Being a Modern Man'
I guess I'm a modern man, I'm currently sitting up at 1.30 in the morning watching Sex and the City and I'm actually in a loving, extremely straight relationship. So sue me, it's funny! I suppose it's also inspired me to start writing this blog again, I love blogging, writing every day is something I plan on enforcing from now on as I realise it's the one thing I want to do with my life so I will always do it, whether I get paid pittance or total zilch, or (hopefully) the big bucks.
So it's been a while, and I guess I'd better mention the big change in my life, as will be the theme of this first blog back after my little summer break. I have a girlfriend. An extremely wonderful one called Charlotte, so when I mention a Charlotte in future blogs you'll know who she is.
I'd better start at the beginning. I warn you, only read on if you want to read about a relationship, if not, I'm afraid there's nothing for you here! I say modern man in my title because I happened to meet my girlfriend through Youtube of all places. That place where people, more often than not slightly mental people like myself post videos for a variety of reasons, music, to make people laugh, the joy of instant creation to be seen by possible millions, or - often - because they own a cat that can perform an amusing trick. I'd decided to read out a passage of 50 Shades of Grey for comedy value, Charlotte saw it when someone she was already subscribed to liked it. She followed me on Tumblr through a link I had in my description box, I saw she looked cute in her profile pic on there, plus liked The Fault in Our Stars, one of the greatest books ever written, so I messaged her. We spoke for a week straight without pause and then we met, and we kissed and four months on the conversation's still going.
Now I'm quite proud of myself. I'm not the luckiest with ladies, and finding the girl of my dreams through Youtube was certainly not how I envisioned meeting said girl of my dreams, but I did, and perfectly so. Truth is we live in a modern world, a world where it's easier than ever to meet people we would never usually meet. I'm sure a lot of people would here 'I met my girlfriend on Youtube' and think 'what?! Shock! Horror! Interrobang!*' or something of the sort. And in a way I whole-heartedly agree, there are a lot of weirdos on the internet so I in no way condone the random meeting of any old person. But if you're safe, i.e. as safe as you would be in real life, you'll be fine. I met Charlotte's family on that first meeting. And some of her friends and mutual loveliness was seen on both sides. I'd recommend anyone in a similar situation as Charlotte's parents do the same with any prospective weirdo from the internet! But of course I am not a weirdo...in that sense at least, hence the four month relationship (and counting). People on the internet, more often than not are just that, people. You're on the internet right now, and I believe we live in a changing world where stories like mine and Charlotte's are becoming more common. It's just a new way to meet people, friends or otherwise.
So I recommend taking the risk, I knew I liked Charlotte instantly, I think you do just know sometimes and it's something I had never experienced up to that point. People have told me in the past that I should be this and I should be that, but the truth is when you meet the right person you are exactly yourself and everything goes according to plan. I had watched a video by the youtuber Carrie Fletcher earlier in the day. I highly recommend watching her, she has this project called the things we never say project. The impetus in it's creation is for people to say the things they want to say that they never usually would. And with Charlotte I did, I know people would tell me not to say the things I said in that first conversation, but I did, and now we're in love. So my advice to anyone is if you really like someone it really is that simple, say what you want to say, if they don't respond well then they're not the right person, move on. Moving on was something I had failed to do to an extremely high degree up until that point in my life. But it worked and I'm happier than I could have ever possibly imagined.
To be honest, if I sit and think about the things and the tiny decisions which led me to Charlotte, I really can't believe it. Just one tiniest decision going the other way could have meant me never meeting her. If my friend Jocy had never introduced me to youtubing or John Green I would not be on youtube and in love with the writing which led me to her. If I'd never joined Tumblr she'd never have followed me on there, if any one of the girls I'd pursued in the past had said yes to me I'd maybe be with them. If I'd never subscribed to GQ I wouldn't have had the passage of 50 Shades of Grey to read out for that person to like on youtube. That person may not have ever started youtubing either, and that they might not have subscribed to me. The fact that out of the billion videos on that site Charlotte stumbled across mine is something that even now I fail to comprehend. And if I'd never started this blog I wouldn't have tried youtubing in the first place.
I'd like to say that our situation is unique, that it's special and magic and wonderful and it is; infinitely so, but every story like this is special and unique and magic to the couple and I think that's wonderful. Relationships are wonderful and the way they happen is wonderful.
The truth is internet, Charlotte is wonderful and I had to tell you our story as this is my favourite new thing and my most successful. Having a girlfriend and being in love is just about the best new thing I've rather wonderfully stumbled across.
* For those not in the know an Interrobang is the greatest of all punctuation marks, the combination of a question mark and an exclamation mark. I will be making a petition to have it included on all computer keyboards.
So it's been a while, and I guess I'd better mention the big change in my life, as will be the theme of this first blog back after my little summer break. I have a girlfriend. An extremely wonderful one called Charlotte, so when I mention a Charlotte in future blogs you'll know who she is.
I'd better start at the beginning. I warn you, only read on if you want to read about a relationship, if not, I'm afraid there's nothing for you here! I say modern man in my title because I happened to meet my girlfriend through Youtube of all places. That place where people, more often than not slightly mental people like myself post videos for a variety of reasons, music, to make people laugh, the joy of instant creation to be seen by possible millions, or - often - because they own a cat that can perform an amusing trick. I'd decided to read out a passage of 50 Shades of Grey for comedy value, Charlotte saw it when someone she was already subscribed to liked it. She followed me on Tumblr through a link I had in my description box, I saw she looked cute in her profile pic on there, plus liked The Fault in Our Stars, one of the greatest books ever written, so I messaged her. We spoke for a week straight without pause and then we met, and we kissed and four months on the conversation's still going.
Now I'm quite proud of myself. I'm not the luckiest with ladies, and finding the girl of my dreams through Youtube was certainly not how I envisioned meeting said girl of my dreams, but I did, and perfectly so. Truth is we live in a modern world, a world where it's easier than ever to meet people we would never usually meet. I'm sure a lot of people would here 'I met my girlfriend on Youtube' and think 'what?! Shock! Horror! Interrobang!*' or something of the sort. And in a way I whole-heartedly agree, there are a lot of weirdos on the internet so I in no way condone the random meeting of any old person. But if you're safe, i.e. as safe as you would be in real life, you'll be fine. I met Charlotte's family on that first meeting. And some of her friends and mutual loveliness was seen on both sides. I'd recommend anyone in a similar situation as Charlotte's parents do the same with any prospective weirdo from the internet! But of course I am not a weirdo...in that sense at least, hence the four month relationship (and counting). People on the internet, more often than not are just that, people. You're on the internet right now, and I believe we live in a changing world where stories like mine and Charlotte's are becoming more common. It's just a new way to meet people, friends or otherwise.
So I recommend taking the risk, I knew I liked Charlotte instantly, I think you do just know sometimes and it's something I had never experienced up to that point. People have told me in the past that I should be this and I should be that, but the truth is when you meet the right person you are exactly yourself and everything goes according to plan. I had watched a video by the youtuber Carrie Fletcher earlier in the day. I highly recommend watching her, she has this project called the things we never say project. The impetus in it's creation is for people to say the things they want to say that they never usually would. And with Charlotte I did, I know people would tell me not to say the things I said in that first conversation, but I did, and now we're in love. So my advice to anyone is if you really like someone it really is that simple, say what you want to say, if they don't respond well then they're not the right person, move on. Moving on was something I had failed to do to an extremely high degree up until that point in my life. But it worked and I'm happier than I could have ever possibly imagined.
To be honest, if I sit and think about the things and the tiny decisions which led me to Charlotte, I really can't believe it. Just one tiniest decision going the other way could have meant me never meeting her. If my friend Jocy had never introduced me to youtubing or John Green I would not be on youtube and in love with the writing which led me to her. If I'd never joined Tumblr she'd never have followed me on there, if any one of the girls I'd pursued in the past had said yes to me I'd maybe be with them. If I'd never subscribed to GQ I wouldn't have had the passage of 50 Shades of Grey to read out for that person to like on youtube. That person may not have ever started youtubing either, and that they might not have subscribed to me. The fact that out of the billion videos on that site Charlotte stumbled across mine is something that even now I fail to comprehend. And if I'd never started this blog I wouldn't have tried youtubing in the first place.
I'd like to say that our situation is unique, that it's special and magic and wonderful and it is; infinitely so, but every story like this is special and unique and magic to the couple and I think that's wonderful. Relationships are wonderful and the way they happen is wonderful.
The truth is internet, Charlotte is wonderful and I had to tell you our story as this is my favourite new thing and my most successful. Having a girlfriend and being in love is just about the best new thing I've rather wonderfully stumbled across.
* For those not in the know an Interrobang is the greatest of all punctuation marks, the combination of a question mark and an exclamation mark. I will be making a petition to have it included on all computer keyboards.
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